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first date in such a long time....very nervous!


locolady
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Hi all - i've been posting on here in the last year as i have really struggled to cope with the ending of a long-term relationship.

 

I met a guy a few weeks ago at a festival and we spent most of the weekend together, dancing, chatting and having fun. We have been speaking on the phone a lot since and now we have arranged to meet up this weekend. We have a lot in common, he makes me laugh etc....i am looking forward to seeing him again -

 

I am very nervous though as i havent been in this position for a very long time and in my past ive only had 2 boyfriends, both of whom i knew well before we started going out. Any advice on making the day work please??!

 

I am trying to go in with an open mind but i would admit that im not really over my ex-boyfriend despite it being over a year ago now. I know i have no choice but to move on but its not very easy. Am i doing the wrong thing in meeting this new guy or is it inevitable that initially i will still feel sad about my ex? (we ended after he cheated on me after 4 years, ive been gutted as breaking up was the last thing in the world i wanted but had no choice.)

 

Also i had jealousy problems before - i dont have much self-confidence and the little i had was shattered when my ex cheated. How can i ensure this doesnt happen again. I still feel very bitter about it and have lost all my faith that there are any nice people out there - so far this new guy has shown himself to be lovely but im so scared of being hurt again.

 

any advice on first dates and stopping old issues reoccurring welcome! thanks

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Definitely go into this open-minded.

 

If you go into it with a very positive outlook, it's likely to have a better chance of working out.

 

Have fun and remember just be yourself.

 

There are many nice people out there, you have screen out the bad ones first though.

 

I hope that you find someone who is able to give you all that you deserve.

 

Hugs. Rose

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Hey Lady-

 

Well, first, relax! Breathe lol ..everything is going to be ok.

 

First, your just going on a date..not a big deal! Just be yourself..and have a good time..but mostly be yourself.

 

Second, your ex.... since you are still healing over your ex...don't rush into anything with the new guy..keep things slow, date, and set bounderies that work for you.

 

And as far as not letting the past dictate your future...try as hard as you can to go into things with an open mind- but remember to keep you hobbies and interests, see your friends, continue doing the things that you enjoy regardless of where the relationship is "at".

 

Girl, i have been in your shoes!! Have fun!!!!!

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hey thanks for replies - i definitely plan to take things VERY slowly. no idea how i feel about this guy but am sure i will enjoy the day anyway so thats ok.

 

Thing is i took it incredibly slowly last time - we dated the old fashioned way for months and months, there was no pressure and we built up such a strong friendship. I kept up all my own friends and interests, i even moved 3 hours away to university - we just got stronger and stronger.

 

He turned out to be a cheat, he lied and humiliated me. My judgment was all wrong.

 

I guess i feel that i did everything by the book last time and yet i still ended up being hurt more deeply than i imagined possible.

 

How can i believe that any new guy isnt just as maniuplative and deceitful as the last -

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