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would anyone like to share some advice on shy guys ;) lol


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hahaha. anything... how to tell if they're interested, how to SHOW them that YOU'RE interested, flirting techniques, how to deal with shy guys, anything!!!!


I just came out of a long-term relationship and now i'm finally over it and ready to date again. I managed to hook up with this guy i've liked on and off for the past two years last weekend. I was cheering, because i'm so relaxed around this guy and i've only ever been myself around him: which was a confidence boost i needed since i had to change myself so much to please my ex.

Unfortunatley, this new guy is REALLY frigid, he's 18 and i'm only the second girl he's ever kissed... and its been so long since i've been in the 'hookup/dating game' i dont know anything, how to tell if he's interested or what

when we were at the party and hooking up he told me he'd been keen on me for a while, but I had honestly thought he didnt want to hook up, i was always sitting on his lap or hugging him and he wouldnt put his arm around me or anything like that! we've been friends for ages though and i know that he's really REALLY shy. Its just confusing.


so any advice ANYONE would like to give... anything, honestly, is appreciated HAHA. i'm so lost right now. shy guys are so damn confusing!!

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oh yeah, another thing thats confusing me:


at the end of the night, i kissed him goodnight and he said "i hate to say this, but i dont want a relationship" and I was like "neither do i!", to which he was like "pfft, oh, thanks!!" and it was like, hey, you said it first!! LOL. But i was talking to him about why he didnt want a relationship and he said that he said that (sort of out of the blue, lol) because he messed it all up with the last chick he hooked up with (also from our school) because he was like "yeah, we're going out!" and then he didnt want to or something..

But he said he didnt want a girlfriend because it would be a bit stressful, having all this school work exam stress (he's in his last year of school) and then them being at school and having to see them every single day and it'd be awkward if they broke up...

its just confusing because, well, he only has 3 days of school left and then he's finished for good! I pointed that out and he was like "yeah..." he's also never had a girlfriend before, so what the hell would he know? ahh!!! As if it wouldnt be awkward allready, we're going to see eachother every day for the rest of this week and we've hooked up.


My good friend, also his best female friend, said it was just because he's *REALLY* shy, but the day after he sent me a txt saying he had heaps of fun hooking up with me and thought it was mad fun, and the first day back at school after the party he ditched his friends to come and talk to me for like an hour or two.. so he cant be that shy, can he??


im sorry. i'm over-analysing, LOL.. i havent had the chance to do this in aaaages though, give me a break haha!

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Hmm... he's acting a little odd... but sometimes shy guys do act strangely because they don't know how to proceed... Let him know how you feel and that you want to go out with him and see how he feels... maybe once he's finished school he'll make his mind up. I wouldn't say he was frigid though, loads of guys haven't had their first kiss yet by the age of 18 (unless frigid means something completely different in Australia).

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If you have been friends for a long time, maybe he is afraid to mess up the friendship.


Take it slowly and also, tell him how you feel. That you like him, and can be yourself around him.. But that you can go at a slower pace. YOu have nothing to lose by being honest and everything to gain. It sounds like he does like you.

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lol, thanks everyone!! i really appreciate it


I dont want to say that I like him though, because I was talking to our mutual friend about him and she said that she had a lil deep and meaningful with him once and he said that he gets turned off when girls say that they like him. I remember back with my first few hook ups, and I played heaps of games with them too and got sort of turned off if a guy said that they liked me... but at this stage i'm over all the game playing, but he's just starting. Aarrgh. I do always catch him staring at me though, and since we hooked up he's been hanging around with me and talking to me ALOT more..

Also, hes the kind of guy that doesnt tell his friends who he likes or ANYTHING, so its impossible to find out that way, but our friend told me that the weekend before we hooked up, he said "i think i might try hooking up with kitz tonight" and she was so shocked because he never tells anyone ANYTHING, and i'm the only girl he's ever shown interest in... she said he also said that "kitz is the only girl i've ever really wanted to hook up with". I dunno. I just really dont want to mess this up its obvious he's interested... but i dont know if he's interested enough to hook up again, or even go out once we finish school. oh well... i guess i'll see this weekend LOL

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In my opinion since he kissed you and had a conversation with you about relationships he is not shy about telling you how he feels. Listen to his words- he said he did not want a relationship and unfortunately when a guy says that you can add "with you" to the end of the sentence. This is not to be hurtful but just to remind you that you take a risk when you hook up with a guy before establishing whether he is interested only in hooking up or in a relationship with you. Don't get more attached assuming you can get him to change his mind. Tell him thanks for his honesty, that you are interested in a relationship or at least dating him and not just hooking up and that he knows where to find you if he changes his mind. Then stop all contact. He knows absolutely that you're interested- even the shyest guy wouldn't be afraid to ask a girl out on a date who was willing to hook up with him,.


Also, you told him you didn't want a relationship so make sure you clear that up if indeed you do (which I assume from your post you do).


In short, he is definitely attracted to you and would likely hook up with you again but right now, that would be about it - he was very honest on this point. Most men who want to date a lady are not going to tell her that they always wanted to hook up - they will be a bit more tactful/sensitive and say that they really want to get to know you - the whole package.


As far as he not liking it when women say they like him, my guess is he would be fine with it - or happy - if he felt the same way.


Alternatively, he really might not be interested in a relationship with anyone, not just you. The result is the same - be thankful he is being honest and stay away if you want more than the occasional hook up.

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Women often think of flirting with guys as a big step that one doesn’t enter into lightly. That’s mostly true if you’re gaining your first romantic experiences.

However one-thing women often do not consider is simply taking advantage of your strong points, making them obvious and focus of flirting actions.


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Examine this list and see if you think you have all the essential skills:

  1. Give emphasis to flirting as a flattering remark to man
    Know why men expect women to encourage them in flirting
  2. Flirting encourages woman to convey sexual interest to men

So, let's evaluate all-important steps one by one!



Give emphasis to flirting as a flattering remark to man



Use flirting tactics on men in such a mode that convinces them that you sincerely want to date them. Only then interest you’ve shoved should be taken as a compliment and most of the time accepted as sincere flirting.


Sometimes you don't mean to give off that impression, but it happens nonetheless. However, the more are you successful to show your romantic interests, more will you have success with men.



Men expect women to encourage them in flirting



You’ll know you’re a good flirt if a man feels flattered by the effort and time put into him. It’s not common that women encourage man in flirting, although men expect that kind of support.


Remember there are a lot of shy guys around who would make an ideal partner. Concentrating on thinking up new and exciting things to do to each other instead of worrying about how long it will last makes things more fun.



Flirting encourages man to convey sexual interest to a woman



Bottom line: Flirting encourages women to convey sexual interest to men in the form of conversation and body language. It takes a long time to learn flirting, but it will make you a lot of fun.


A man would be grateful for the effort and time you commit to him. Do you think of flirting with guys as a big step that you just can’t leap over? For more tips about flirting techniques, and making man feel flattered, refer to the e books below:


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  • How to give emphasis to flirting as a flattering remark to man?
    Why men expect women to encourage them in flirting?
  • Why flirting encourages man to convey sexual interest to a woman?

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