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Is it time to cut ties with my sister?


obscurity
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I am at the last straw, I need some serious advice because this is starting to ruin my life and my mentality.

 

My sister is 4 years old then I am. She is 25, I am 21. We live in an asian family so my parents are very conservation, strict and old fashion. My parents dont believe we should date until school is done. Although that is the case, my sister and I both have boyfriends.

 

My problem is with my sister. Her and I dont exactly have a close bonded relationship. I guess the problem started when I younger, around the time of jr. high school. She became a dominate force in my life. Controlling what I did, when I did it and how I should do things. She would do things behind my parents back (have boyfriends, stay out late etc) and would force me to keep them a secret. If I didnt she would threaten me or black mail me. I was young and didnt know any better so I went along with her antics. At times she would go out and party, tell my parents we both had to work, and leave me in the car waiting for her for 3-4 hrs. That was the extent my of jr.high/high school days.

 

Now I am in University and she is still the center my torment. She has a boyfriend which Ive talked to a couple of times. You could say he is someone from the wrong side of the tracks, but I never judged him, as long as he made her happy. She knows I have a boyfriend but Ive never introduced him to her. She is a very hypotcitical person. The first time she found out I was dating him, she was farious. She called me horrible names like wh0re, white sl_t, b!tch. She would send me text messages saying I hope you die, you probably have std's and aids and going to die from it. Whenever she sees me talking on the phone with him she would get mad and call me horrible names. Today we were walking out in public. We were talking normally and out of the blue she says loudly "... no because your a white sl_t ..." . Ive never done anything to make her think this.

 

She keeps lots of secrets from my parents, all of which Ive never told them about. I feel like I should respect her privacy, but its all going to waste because she tells my parents bad sh!t about me all the time.

 

Even after all this, I didnt want us to be fighting at home all the time and have a tense relationship. First because my mom hates it when we fight and second she is my sister and I dont want to have that type of relationship with her. Well, now I am at the end of my straw. Ive tried everything I possibly can to stay strong and not notice what she is saying. It breaking me down emotionally and mentally. I cant deal with it anymore.

 

What should I do, assume like I never had a sister?

 

Should I just ignore it?

 

I am so lost at this point I dont even know.

 

 

..... obscurity

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Wow, it sounds like she almost has mental problems she's so cruel to you.

 

I would tell her you'll no longer tolerate her behavior towards you, and everytime she talks to you in that way, leave the room and refuse to talk to her for some time afterward.

 

Avoid her and don't let her bring you down. That creates negativity in your life that you don't need.

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Over the years its one of the reasons that has caused me to become really depressed. I feel like I cant escape her. We live in the same house so I see her very often. Because of her nature I feel like i cant share any part of my life with her and act completely different then around my friends. I cant continue to let this ruin my life.

 

Honestly sometimes I have thought of sucide to get away from her.

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I don't get along with my sister either, tho she's not like yours....but what I do is just ignore her, say a hello here and then and that's it, you should do the same, don't talk to her, don't hang out with her at all so you'll make her a lesser part of your life than she is now

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