the date canceller is back!

[Beec]

Well, I would not recommend revenge or treating him with an equal amount of disrespect. That would be a waste of your time.

 

I would recommend you continue to date other men and put him in as one of the guys you date. The more time he deserves and you want to give him, the more he gets. Sooner or later, one man will be the one who gets all of your time and attention.

[bighair]

No, Beec, I'm not talking about revenge...I need Joe to get the message that I'm not cool with his flakiness and that it comes with consequences. It's not so much about revenge...it's really about self preservation.

[timlondon]

Hmm - is this maybe a guy equivalent of a test...? Perhaps he's trying to see whether you'll react firmly and give him a bit of a hard time, or whether you'll just roll over...

 

I'd certainly suggest giving him some major teasing if you do meet up though. Tell (invent) some stories of how normally if someone's late you wait 15 minutes then you just leave, make him feel lucky that you've made an exception - you've done him a favour.

 

He does seem like a bit of an though

[hosswhispra]

I feel like I"m not going to get this guy out of my system until I meet him once and for all. YOur Thoughts, insights are welcome.

 

My thoughts are that you should not waste your time on someone like this. He's already uncertain and you have not even met.

 

As my dad (who was a bus conductor for over 20 years in Ireland) would say: "Never run after a bus or a man, because there is always another one coming!"

 

He disrespected you by canceling on you. It sounds as though he had another dating prospect that did not pan out, so now he's coming back to you. Go with your intuition. What does your gut say?

[zer0effect]

He seriously could have had something come up.

My current relationship, which was through the internet, I had cancelled twice. We are both working professionals and schedules can get hectic. I felt horrible as hell and really thought I was throwing away any chance of meeting this person, I was as honest and truthful as I could be but you never know how someone will take it.

 

Anyway, it took us about 4 tries, back and forth setting dates, cancelling them before we finally went out and I am very glad we did. It was a process of over 2 months because of conflicting vacations, I was gone, then she was gone, then holidays, family commitments, somethings just take more time and effort. Try to put all that disrepect stuff, what you think, out of your head and just go for the moment and what it is. Try not to read into things and take them for what they are, sure you may be right about things, but you really do not know and speculation doesn't do anything for you.

[bighair]

thanks Zero for your email.

 

I believe him when he says that he had a family commitment. And, when he resurfaced after the first flaking, I went on a vacation. So, yeah....like you, i've been trying to schedule a date with this guy for over 2 months.

 

he emailed me today about his eagerness to meet...and, i think i will meet him. the problem is that i am not free until next weekend...oh well...

 

i'll definitely keep you guys posted.