I'm lost now more than ever...

[RapidHopeLoss]

This is my first post and I think that it's going to be a novel. For anyone who reads the whole thing I thank you in advance. I've been looking at these forums for a while now and couldn't decide if I should post something or not. I guess I have nothing to lose, so why not?!

 

I started a realtionship last November. I hadn't been with anyone for over two years until I meet that girl. We hit it off and things were as amazing as I could image. She was so incredible. She took care of me when I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled. She would hold my hand until I feel asleep from all the pain of getting those teeth pulled, when I would wake up she would still be holding my hand and hadn't moved an inch, wow.

 

We had problems like every relationship does but we made it through. We broke up about the end of July. We both said that we love each other dearly but we just don't work as a couple and we couldn't go on hurting the other person. It was as mutual of a break up as possible. We were both very depressed and we agreed that the only way to get over each other was to meet other people.

 

Fast forward to the first day of English this sememster. This girl who literally knocked me off my feet was in my class. I gathered what little self confidence I had and sat next to her. We hit it off instantly. We would hang out after class, get coffee and talk for hours. We had everything in common I could possibly image. I was flying high and never felt so good about someone in my life. She told me that her feelings were the same as mine and things just kept getting better and better.

 

She isn't from the town that we both go to college in so she went back home quite often, every weekend or every other weekend, it's about a hour and a half drive. I was fine with this and thought it was great. We had established a pretty good routine of talking everyday on the phone and I was really happy about that, she said the same. So last weekend she went home and I watied for her to call all night. I got really worried and called her, no answer, so I left a message. I called a couple more times that weekend and was worried to death because she never called back. I was also upset because she was suspose to come back on Saturday because we had an out of town night planned. Finally she calls Sunday afternoon, she said that she had to go camping with the family (I believe her but still wonder sometimes) so she didn't get cell phone service. She said that she would be back that night and we would hang out. 11:00 that night rolls around and she hadn't called. I start worrying again and call her. She had been in town since 6:00, she cancelled our plans and hung out with other people. I was hurt but nothing serious. After that day she didn't call me anymore. I saw her in English on Tuesday and she said that we would hang out that day and the next. She cancelled both of those times and wouldn't answer the phone or call me back. She promised that Thursday would be our day, didn't happen. She cancelled and wouldn't anwser.

 

On Wednesday night I went to her apartment and had a state of the union address. I told her I don't know why she is treating my like this if she feels the way she says she does for me. She said sorry and that she is just stressed about school. I said fine but if this keeps happening then I can't take it anymore and we are going to lose this. So it's now Sunday and she hasn't called since Tuesday (I think?) since she cancelled our plans again. I know this is over now but I can't handle it. Like I said I have never hit things off better with anyone and I don't know what to do now. I don't really get calls from anyone so I'm at home all the time with nothing to do. The only thing that I'm excited for is new NetFlix movies and going to the movies (by myself which actually isn't exicting).

 

Now that I've lost this girl I'm thinking about my first ex from last year who has meet someone new and is doing great. I'm very happy for her because I know this guy (kind of weird). I knew that she would eventually meet someone and I'm very glad it's a stand up guy like him. I miss her a lot right now. So I'm missing my ex from last year and this bombshellf of a girl who I meet a month ago, pretty much fell madly in love with who wont return my calls and cancells our plans.

 

So this is my novel and I apologize so much for it's considerable length. Congrats to anyone who finished it. I need to know what to do. Can this be salvaged or do I give up and have one last conversation with her about what she is doing? There are a lot more deatails and I know that this whole thing this isn't orginzed chronologically in the best manner but if anyone replies then I will add in those details or anwser some questions.

 

Thanks so much again for reading!

[richard29]

Try NC for a couple of weeks, give her space and time. If you carry on chasing you will just push her away, believe me i know. Give her time to miss you and the talks you shared. Have a think!!! If she wants you she will contact you it's that simple... not easy to take but the truth never is.

I ask myself about my gf she's so cold towards me, i don't know her anymore.

That's her way of dealing with it and it's hard for me to take.I've done NC for 2 weeks now and it's killing me. Anyone who treats you bad and give you that amount of pain are they worth it? That's one of the hardest questions to answer.

goodluck my friend and keep smiling that works for me.... never let her see your down about it.

[melee18]

it sounds like the new girl got a bit scared and maybe thought you were being too clingy. It sounds like she's not ready/looking for something serious at the moment. I'm taking it you guys weren't officially in a relationship?

 

I would continue to get out a meet people. Sitting at home only makes you think of things including exes. Get your self confidence up again and maybe that new girl will start to see you are worth her time after all. Or maybe somebody new will enter the picture. I know it can be hard, but you have to keep positive and think positively about things.

[RapidHopeLoss]

Today was an interesting day. I ran into my ex from last year and this girl I meet last month all in the span of just this morning. It was weird but I think I handled it well.

 

Try NC for a couple of weeks, give her space and time. If you carry on chasing you will just push her away, believe me i know. Give her time to miss you and the talks you shared. Have a think!!! If she wants you she will contact you it's that simple... not easy to take but the truth never is. goodluck my friend and keep smiling that works for me.... never let her see your down about it.

 

Yea I realized last week that NC is the way to go. It isn't as bad as I thought. it's not going to work though since I have to see her in school every week, oh well. I'm not going to get my hopes up about her changing her mind and even if she did I don't know how I would feel about it after everything that has happened.

 

Thank you, this helps a lot!

 

 

it sounds like the new girl got a bit scared and maybe thought you were being too clingy. It sounds like she's not ready/looking for something serious at the moment. I'm taking it you guys weren't officially in a relationship?

 

 

 

I would continue to get out a meet people. Sitting at home only makes you think of things including exes. Get your self confidence up again and maybe that new girl will start to see you are worth her time after all. Or maybe somebody new will enter the picture. I know it can be hard, but you have to keep positive and think positively about things.

 

 

 

We didn't have anything offical but it was kind of that unspoken togetherness I think. I've thought about the clingy thing and I'm not sure. She might think that but I really doubt it. Well whatever she thinks is fine because, as suggested earlier, NC is the best way to go now.

 

Thanks so much for the advice, it means a lot.