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am i flogging a dead horse.


jue
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im not sure if this is the right place to put this

 

my ex left me 5mtns ago to be with someone else.(his first love 24yrs ago).

 

we were togethr 11yrs..known each other since childhood

 

anywya..these days we talk occasionaly msn..txt ..we dont see each other

and that is mainly my choice

 

as we were having one of our quick chats he turned his messenger off as she cam e in room then came back on..

 

i asked when he was over me.and he replied he didnt know

 

i said just tell me when u got over me.

 

dont no if i have..was his response..

 

i know he doesnt love me.but i still love him.i think part of me always will..

 

he had been seeing her 2 months when he left.and that wa s abrupt cause we had been agruing that morning..well i had been accusing him as i suspected he was up to something..then i told him to go and he left

 

is there any hope..deep down im just not sure anymore...i miss him..

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hi he will still have feelings for you theres no doubt. 11 years is a long time and because you are still in touch, if he is with someone else and you arnt its not gonna help you. And you seem to be digging for clues if he still feels the same as you . its really hard. do you stiill have contact because emotionally you cant let go?. is he still with the other person?. if so you gotta ask yourself is there too much water under the bridge now?

 

stay safe

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Yeah, you'd have to be a pretty cold person, to just completely not care about someone you were with for that long. i wouldn't read too much into his answers, b/c:

 

1. this man cheated on you and left you for someone else

 

2. he is not being honest w/ his current SO, if he's hiding ya'lls conversations or the fact that ya'll talk from her

 

Sounds like he's not the best apple in the bunch or the most honest...

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well, to answer your question, i don't think he's over you. i remember your situation and i think we actually discussed that even though your ex was with another, he wouldn't just forget you like that. 11 years is nothing to sneeze at.

 

something tells me that his honeymoon period with his current girlfriend is probably coming to an end. maybe he misses you as a result.

 

however, is there "hope"? i'm not even going to answer that question, because you shouldn't be thinking about that. it's time to get realistic.

 

don't imagine him as being unsatisfied in his new relationship. imagine that he's having a grand old time! imagine that she's the love of his life! because THAT, my friend, is the only thing that is going to help you move on. you and i both know that you will take any glimmer of hope and run with it, and by "run with it" i mean you're going to stay enamored of him.

 

i was the exact same way. to think, i even took an email from my ex asking to be friends as a sign that he wanted to be with me deep-down! point being, anything you get from him that you can remotely construe as positive, you WILL take as a positive sign.

 

that's why i particularly recommend NC for you. it's time to move on.

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