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painfully shy :(


betty_boop
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hi everyone and thanks for taking the time to read this!

 

i was just wondering if anyone has tips for when you are very very shy... even painfully shy >> ive always been a little bit shy but sometimes it seems i am just soooo shy... i find it hard talking to teachers sometimes... and for example this one teacher i have .. he is a nice except i just seem to get nervous and shakey just talking to him... and it goes for everything.. ! i find the littlest things so hard..

 

i know ill always be shy but i just wish i wasnt so shy that it affects everything.... i only talk if talked to and i have lots of nervous habits... i think lots of people think im really weird.. especially at school! sometimes i see people making gestures or signs about me and i know they think i am strange

 

the 2nd thing is i was wondering if it is not normal to never have had a boyfriend... i am turning 18 soon and i am sooooo shy around guys! i have never gone out with anyone and i was wondering if this is weird.. most of my friends have b/fs or have had b/fs but when i have a crush on someone i feel sooo nervous and sick & i cant even look at them !

does this mean there is something wrong withme?

 

anyway.. i am sorry this was so long! thanks for helping me!

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Hey BB,

 

I used to be very very shy,

 

I never dated until I was 19 or so and before that time, I just studied and enveloped myself in my studies,

 

I began joining organizations/volunteering, taking on many jobs,

 

And now I can't stop talking, I have become very outgoing,

 

I talk to everyone to keep up my social skills, the checker at the grocery store, I don't just say hi, how are you, I will start up a conversation,

 

It has helped me immensely in terms of dating and my career,

 

Good social skills can go a long way,

 

Give it a shot, talk to people you see anywhere, the bookstore, the grocery store,

 

And with time, it will be 2nd nature,

 

Hugs,

 

Rose

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wait until you get to college... that's when life really starts sometimes. not to say you can't start now, but i suffered from similar problems when i was in high school (not to say i don't suffer from similar problems today, but much much less acute than high school).

 

the 2nd thing is i was wondering if it is not normal to never have had a boyfriend... i am turning 18 soon and i am sooooo shy around guys! i have never gone out with anyone and i was wondering if this is weird

 

i think we all mature at different points in our life. and feel more comfortable with ourselves... our body, our mind, everything. i guarantee you if you go to college and a) make yourself available (join lots of activites, etc), b) be friendly to people... you will meet people, you will totally get hit on and you will have relationships.

 

i was totally a late bloomer... physically, mentally, emotionally (still growing up here... hehe). didn't kiss a girl until i was 19, first g/f when i was 21... but you know what? it's okay because we all take different paths on this crazy map we call life. just work on being more social like rosie said... you'll be okay.

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Hey, I'm 22 and I've never had a girlfriend. Try beating that

 

I know what you mean about being shy. I am painfully shy. The good news is that I'm not nearly half as shy as I was when I was your age. The bad news is, I still have a looooong way to go if I don't want to die a bachelor.

 

By the way, please don't have expectations about college. I did, and I was sorely disappointed. You do have better chances than high school but it still requires confidence and legwork. I'm going to graduate from university in less than a year and my university experience did nothing to further my romantic cause (I did get social practice in making friends, but no close friends). I did all that was suggested - joined clubs, etc but nothing really panned out. Life still sucks.

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LIFE DOESN'T SUCK! come on... life is all about attitude. you're going to get out of life exactly what you put into it. new_horizons, i totally recommend you travel. i think traveling really opens up people's lives to new cultures and a different perspective on life. i think this new understanding will give you greater appreciation and passion to life.

 

i think a lot of people have such negative attitudes and as a result, it's really hard to enjoy the great moments in life. and as great as it is to have a b/f or g/f, life by yourself or with friends can be just as good. so be yourself, be optimistic, don't give up and life will treat you well.

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i recommend a foreign country... places in latin america, south america, southeast asia, eastern europe... go for an entire summer or go for a vacation. i've only traveled to a few countries (china, taiwan, japan... i don't know if you can count canada as another country), but life overseas is very different from life in the states (night and day in some parts of china). i was planning to go to argentina in december until i found out about ticket prices: $2000... now i'm thinking about germany early next yr

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