College LDR

[Jvc21]

- Hey all, I'm still kinda new to this forum and its seems like a great place for some great advice.

 

-Anyhow, let's get to it. I've been with my g/f for almost 2 years. she's a year under me. i went off to a local college after i graduated and it worked out because she was in her senior year and we could hang out.

 

-however, this fall she moved on about 150 miles away from me for college and we had a tough decision whether or not to being in a LDR. We both agreed that we would try it out and see what happens. and so far, it's been tough but doable.

 

-i suppose you can say we had a fairy-tale relationship: no fights, other people were jealous of us, we had a good intimacy life, talked a lot, never got bored of each other...etc... it was an amazing relationship.

 

-as a boyfriend, i would want nothing more than to see my g/f happy at all times. however, she keeps saying how hard it is to not see me anymore and hug me and stuff like that. and it hurts me a lot because it feels like i'm being torn into two:

 

-i mean, one part says i should stay with her, because we're so into each other, and even talked about our future. On the other side, it hurts me to see her like this.

 

-i guess the only variable i can give is that, while we were in highschool, i never really took our relationship like she did. I mean i was a 'perfect' b/f according to her, but sometimes i wasn't in-sync. But now, it's quite the opposite. We dedicated that we would talk to each other at 10pm since i have to get up early every morning. But she would not get to me until around 12-1am saying she's out with other people (which i'm not worried about or anything like that). she apologizes dearly, and it hurts me when she has to apologize for stuff like this.

 

- sorry to be in detail, but it's important to me. basically, my question is should i continue this LDR, based on the facts given (i can clarify anything i might have missed out), or should i move on (i really want her to be happy, and i don't want to boggle her down)

 

 

- thanks in advance, i hope to get some good advice/opinions.

 

 

- Jvc21

[melee18]

i have a couple prespectives for you:

1) I did long distance with a boyfriend for a year. We were both freshman in college at the time and had been dating in high school. He went to college 8 hours away and I went to college at home. It was hard, but what mostly got us through was the fact that I was planning on transferring to his school after my freshman year. I don't know if we would have continued the relationship had I not transferred b/c I don't think he wanted a ldr for that long.

 

2) I have two friends from home that started dating their boyfriends in high school and have continued to date them all through college. They all go to school two hours apart and see each other a couple times a semester. I was talking to one of my girl friends about it and she says its nice because she can do her own thing at school (not cheating on her boyfriend, but having time to herself) but she still has him to talk to and see on breaks. However I know they are all in a tough boat as to what to do after they graduate. Two of them are contemplating breaking up if they do not go to the same grad schools b/c ldr get hard after a while and it seems as though the overall goal is to end up being in the same place as the person eventually. If two people aren't willing to end up near each other, then you have to wonder how serious they are about the relationship.

 

So I think it's up to you and her to decide what you want to do. Maybe breaking it off for now, but remaining friends would work best or maybe staying together for as long as you can will work. I remember being in a ldr to be a lot of work, but it was also one of the more romantic times in my relationship because you value your time together much more and you have to do more things (cards, phone calls, flowers) to keep the spark going.

 

Best of luck to you both!

[AngelEyez]

Hey,

 

How long is college going to last for her until she goes back home? 2-4 years? I think you both can handle it. I'm in an LDR myself. It will be a bit more than 2 years until we can be with each other, but I'm willing to take the risk because I love him. It seems like you two are a perfect couple. I wouldn't risk it just because of distance. It will get tough, but you can get through it as long as both of your are committed.