wondering how long till she calls

[bungalo]

I wish to hell she would call. Not one email, call, text...nothing in almost a month. The breakup was amicable. Lots of crying and hugs and kisses. SHe even said she was open to reconciling....just couldn't say when. I know this is pathetic sounding....but how long do I wait? I feel pretty

strong when it comes to NC...I have friends/family and a counselor who supports me. I know everyone is different and I acknowledge my neediness in the relationship..but she is a warm loving, highly sensitve person. It seems impossible to me that she would just drop offf the face of the earth. Ideas?

[CamaroJoe]

I have an idea but you're not going to like it. You should just move on. Meet new women. If you are waiting on someone, you're wasting your time. I'm not saying you need to get all serious with every woman you meet. Just go out and have fun. If your ex comes back, then she comes back. But you can't sit around waiting for her. You have to live your life for yourself.

 

And for every type of woman, there are a hundred more like her. Maybe not perfectly like her, but yeah, there are a lot of fish in the sea. That goes for guys too.

[WorkNProgress]

Why are you waiting? The point of NC is to move on with your life. You need to start living for you. If down the road she has a change of heart and wants to try again, you must cross that bridge at that time. The same goes with her too. She is probably trying to get her life back in order too.

 

It's great that you are acknowledging your neediness in relationships. Work on that right now. Why is it that you are so needy when in a relationship? Take this time to really discover who it is you are, what it is you want, and what will it take to get these things. The only control you have of this situation is you and you alone.

 

It does get better with time, truly it does. Just takes a bit of time.

[now_better]

The breakup was amicable. Lots of crying and hugs and kisses. SHe even said she was open to reconciling....just couldn't say when. I know this is pathetic sounding....but how long do I wait?

 

part of the recovery process is that you don't wait. you do NC, you move on, you give them space, you live your life. it's difficult to process this right now because it was so recent, but with time and really working on healing yourself, you'll understand. something that i read fairly often on this websites is that actions speak louder than words and unfortunately, her actions are saying something you don't want to hear. sorry pal.

[Relationship Coach]

SHe even said she was open to reconciling....just couldn't say when

 

This is called keeping a foot in the door. It's a cruel thing to do and sometimes it is said just to lessen the pain or guilt of breaking up. Don't listen to her words, listen to her actions. She's not contacting you because she has moved on, you need to do the same.

 

RC

[coollady1957]

Don't keep waiting. Move on with your life. She is keeping the NC and you should continue to as well. Don't sit around wondering and waiting to see if she is ever going to contact you. Doing that is going to slow your healing and moving on process.

[bungalo]

Thanks everyone. I've been through this before...and I forgot how hard it was to move on. I think you're right on with the "keeping her foot in the door" comment. I have decided TODAY that I WILL NOT CONTACT HER NO

MATTER WHAT, UNTIL I'VE GOT MY FEET UNDER ME AND AM FEELING HEALED.