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I like her a lot, but I'm so miserable trying to figure her out!! HELP!!


herewegoagain
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Well I've been dating this girl (we are both in our mid 30's) for about two months now. Things started out nice and slow, but gradually we started to talk more on the phone, etc. We have a great time when we go out (once or twice per weekend).But I'm having a hard time figuring her out. After about 4-5 dates we had our first real kiss (moving pretty slow, huh), which was fine, but that's all the further we have ever went. It seems like all we do is just go on a date, then I take her home, we kiss a bit, and I leave. Is that normal? Am I being too much of a gentleman by not trying to make more of a "move" on her? Should I bring this up with her, or just play it cool for a while.I really do like her and I don't want to mess things up with her. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Redqueen - you are so right - we are definitley lacking passion. We hold hands, kiss, hug, etc. But it doesn't seem passionate. I sure wish it was!!

 

uh-oh, ring the alarm!! It sounds like there may be some residual issues or emotional baggage that she is carring that would impede her from feeling passionate about you or this relationship, but who knows, this is just my opinion.

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Redqueen - you may be right, who knows?What bugs me even more is that she never really talks about "us." We talk about everything under the sun but "us" unless i bring it up. for example, I don't even know what we are!!! Are we boyfriend/girlfriend? Are we dating? It's driving me crazy trying to figure her out. In fact, i'm having a hard time sleeping!!!

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You are going to have to take the initiative, I think that is why it is where it is at. Step it up, touch her more. Go out to dinner and have a drink or two and go out to shoot pool afterwards, get some drinks and touch her alot, very easy to do, flirt, tease her. When you are ending the night make out with her intensely and touch her body, hold her against you, push it, unless she pushes you away or tells you to stop, keep going forward. Don't have to be an animal, but put some passion in it, kiss her neck, run your fingers through her hair, hold her tight, etc.. It will progress naturally. Chances are you could end up in the bedroom or just both hot and bothered which would probably be better seeing how slow it is starting.

 

I have dated many girls that will not make the first move at all, and if I just read queues from them, years later we would still be kissing on the couch and not anything more.

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Redqueen - you are so right - we are definitley lacking passion. We hold hands, kiss, hug, etc. But it doesn't seem passionate. I sure wish it was!!

 

In my experience, if the passion or the "spark" isn't there from the very beginning...it's hard to go forward in the relationship. It's electric...it's something you should feel...when you look at her, think about her, and when you are with her. It should flow between the two of you.

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humm...could be baggage, could be she just isn't into you or feels you are not into her, could be she isn't the kind to sleep around, could be she wants to get to know someone very well before she sleeps with them, could be she is waiting for you to make a move. Who knows, try to read between the lines or make a move....

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