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try reaching out - no dice!


abbett
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ok.......so i'm in a period of growth right now. i'm in a place i've not been in a while.

 

last year, my ltr ended - we'd been together 6 years. we had our friends - most were couple friends......we both knew them and most were married or partnered up like ourselves......

 

so when we broke up, i found myself with few friends of my own.......single friends at that.

 

so i went out there and i tried to meet people. it seems it worked for a while. i ended up meeting another girl and rushed into a relationship with her - the dreaded rebound. we lasted 7 months and it was rough and not fun, but i guess i stuck with it to avoid being alone.

 

i finally got tired of it and broke up with her.......wanting better for myself.

 

so, after 3 weeks or so, i'm out there trying to make new friends and foster friendships i already have. i don't get it. i email, i phone, i text, i do anything and everything to say, "hi, how are you? what are you up to this week? let's get together sometime. hey, i'm looking to make some new friendships." and i am pleasant, nice, light, charming.......and i get no response! it's not just from one or two people - it's like everyone i try to reach out to!

 

what the heck is that about? is there some kind of cosmic reason? i need friends now more than ever and no amount of good will, politeness, wanting to hang out gestures work!

 

am i poison?

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Not enough info to give you any real advice... but if I had to guess, I would guess perhaps you aren't being patient enough? Friends take a long time to find.... I should know, I've had to move twice in the last year for work. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere, bam, time to move again.

 

How are you meeting thesepeople that you are attempting friendships with? Do you share common interests? I've found the quickest way to meet people is to focus on an activity you really enjoy and find other people to do it with. Out of all the people you meet through the activity, certainly there will be a few you really click with and can spend time with beyond the given activity.

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  • 2 weeks later...

why not spend some time with yourself,why do you avoid being alone?

 

people are generally put off by too much in your face keeness i'd say just spend soime time alone,that sense that your at ease by yourself and not "desperate" for friends will be more welcoming .

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