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*Update* Fiance has to have another surgury!


shorty20
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I found out yesturday my Fiance has to go into surgury again. The whole in his side healed fine, but there was a smaller whole inside the whole that was 7 inches deep, and that didn't heal right so they have to go in and make the whole bigger and keep him here another month and a half. It just seems like no matter what he does, he can't get a break. People keep messing up their jobs, and my fiance is the one that pays for it. This time, he didn't heal right becuase the nurses took the woundvac out when they shouldn't have. He's getting more and more frusterated with the situation.. he was supposed to get the WoundVac off this weekend, now he has to stay with it for another month... and it's getting harder and harder for me not to take his grumpiness personally. I know he loves me, but it's hard to deal with someone being grumpy with you when you're doing everything and anything you can to help them. I guess this really is for better or worse, huh? He also found out when he gets back he'll be on "dead man's watch" or something like that which means he can't do anything at all for 8 months to a year. After that they'll see if he can still do infantry but I think he'll have to reclass into something else. His lung will never be 100% again, neither will his shoulder, and he will never be able to run as fast as he could before. On top of all this, he had seizures when he was little, and the doctors said any trauma to the head could bring them back. Well, he's been seeing flashes of light while his eyes are closed (which was a sign when he was little that he was about to have a seizure) he hasn't had one yet but I am so worried for him, and we are both just getting so frusterated with the situation and each other! I need some help.. some encouragment... anything!

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Shorty,

Sorry to hear of the problems which you are faced with but he is lucky to be alive. As for the flashes of light it could be related to idiopathic seizures but it could also be from the reduced amount of oxygen to the optic nerve. Sometimes when someone is having respiratory issues the optic nerve is depleted and a strobe effect does occur when the eyes are closed. His doctors should be looking in to this as I hope that they are. Get him healthy and then stress over his duty assignment when he returns.

 

Best Wishes,

 

RC

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Hey Shorty,

 

You are being a great fiance, so supportive to your man,

 

Even though he won't be exactly the way he was physically,

 

He is still the same soul you fell in love with,

 

Nothing about him has really changed, just the shell,

 

I was told the same thing about never being able to run fast,

 

My chest crashed in when I was growing up,

 

But that hasn't stopped me, I am currently training for a biathlon,

 

A person is only limited by what THEY BELIEVE they can do,

 

So keep being supportive, and I am praying for a quick and safe recovery for your fiance,

 

Hugs,

 

Rose

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Shorty, I can't really add much to what RC just stated - first off, he's got much more medical knowledge than I do, and second, he makes a great point about just concentrating on the now, and not stress over issues in the future.

 

Yep, for better or for worse...you're right. Try to be a calm oasis of peacefulness and serenity for your fiance right now, and don't let his grumbling get to you. I would just listen as much as possible, sympathize, but don't try too hard to talk him out of his bad mood or anything. He's going through a serious physical trauma, and it's bound to affect him emotionally for a while, as well.

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Hi shorty. I am sorry to hear of everything your fiancé is having to go through with his recovery.

 

I understand your difficulty trying to deal with his grumpy moods. I am certain that this is normal for him or anyone dealing with all that he has had to go through.

 

I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers and wishing you both the strength to get through this.

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It sounds like this is definitely one of those tests that a couple has to go through. I read your posts, and it sounds like your man is lucky to be alive. He has every reason to be grumpy, and it will pass. It must definitely be frustrating, but it sounds like you are being very supportive. I wish you both much luck with the recovery

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