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How to cope with losing your 'best friend'


barbielovesmac
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So I pulled out the pictures and all the memories of our 15 year friendship that was litterly taken away in minutes WE had been friends since we were in grade school, our parents' were best friends.

 

We know everything about eachother, what eachother liked, disliked. We knew eachothers moods and when to back off. We were so alike yet, so different. We were inseperable, people envied our friendship. We were STRONG. We had all the little inside jokes, the inside memories. Things that we had done, that her and I only knew about. Our dogs were even best friends.

 

Was it all fake? You always hear a 'true friend' should love you no matter what, should be there no matter what. Take you with all your faults, be equvilent to family member. I thought we were all those things. I was wrong, was it fake?

 

I honestly believe I will NEVER have a friendship like this again. I grew up with this girl, she knew all about me; everything and vice versa. How can I ever get close to another person, and trust another person like that again?

 

Was it just us growing apart? Or was it not what we thought it was? Cause there was no saving it. And now things are very bitter and ugly. She is out to hurt me, and if she was ever really my friend why would she do that even if we aren't friends now?

 

Im just really sad, and needing someone to talk to You've all be soooo insightful so far. I really appreciate any help. Real friends are hard to find

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Ok I don't know the full story but I know what it's like to lose a best friend and I think I may be able to help you out.

Last year my best friend (who I had considered my bestfriend for 10 years) started to grow apart from me, I guess we didn't want it to happen but it did. Then one day she did something that ended everything, her friend (which she had grown closer to at the time) and her both went onto my website (which I had put a lot of heart into) and said some very awful things about me. I had to find out from my new best friend who emailed me telling me they'd been online and had fooled around with almost everything on my site.

It took me nearly 2 hours to delete the hateful posts they had posted etc etc and then I called her up and you know what they did, they mocked me and hung up.

 

I tried to figure out why my best friend of 10 years could be so hateful towards me but nothing made sense.

 

It's been almost 9 months since then and I guess it still hurts to know I had to let go of someone I've loved for so long but sometimes you have to let go to grow stronger.

 

For me what really helped me move on was by letting all the negative thoughts go, and I'd think about the positive. I know it sounds weird and sure thinking about all the great times we had had together made me cry and miss her but it was also a way of realising how lucky I was to have that friendship when I did. I also put my mind on other things, I made new friends, I put myself out there and got noticed by new people and now I bunch a whole new bunch of people I consider my best friends and sometimes having a heep of best friends is a lot more fun than holding onto one that has already drifted away.

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I don't see how i'll ever have that type of friendship again, we grew up together. I trused her, she knew everything. How can you just meet someone else and decide that?

 

To be perfectly honest, you may never have that kind of friend again... and that's both a good and a bad thing. Friendships like that are very rewarding yes, but they are like significant others and if you have that dynamic for a long time, you forget what its like to live without it. Guess what, there is life without it.... GOOD life.

 

There will be a transition period, I won't lie... for someone like you, at your age, and with what you are describing... a transition period of a year or so is pretty realistic. I went through the same thing and that's how long it took me. Your mileage may vary. The first few months were the worst. The thing that kept me going was that I knew only time could heal me, and it did. I knew that with each day, I would feel better and better so I just moved on with my life and kept looking forward. It worked.

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