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How to start NC in this situation?


lost_status
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Hi all, Thanks for helping me out with my break up... I have a small issue though. My ex and I decided to be friends, however he constantly annoys me, I want to go to NC but Im not sure how... My ex and I go to the same uni and take a few classes together, and we have the same group of friends.

 

I have a few weeks off uni which should be good because I dont have to see him, but I cant stop him from calling me... any ideas?

 

Maybe I should elaborate on how he annoys me.... He always asks me what Im doing, who Im seeing, where Im going, What Im eating or what Ive eaten during the day, what I did during the day, What time Im sleeping and the list goes on!!!!!

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I'd check him when he starts flipping out on you, keeping tabs on you, analyzing your diet and sleeping habits, and otherwise being annoying and freaking creepy...

 

Honesty...the best policy. If he annoys you, tell him, again and again until he either stops annoying you, he gets tired of this and walks away, or you get tired of it. If you reach that point, just tell him the truth, "Look dude, you annoy and make me feel uncomfortable. I've tried my best. I don't think we should talk anymore". Then drop off the face of his planet completely...you are "there" physically in his presense but you are so far gone it isn't even funny...

 

I bet I know why he is acting this way...he still has feelings for you. This is why I firmly believe there is no such thing as real friendship with an ex until a lot of time and distance have passed. There is almost always an imbalance of feelings and at some point at some time, if there are still feelings, they will manifest themselves in bizarre, sometimes uncomfortable ways...like this...his subtle attempts to control you...

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i agree with friscodi i have never been able to be friends with exs till time passes - i gave my heart to them and something went wrong and i just cant do it - i am too emotional maybe? You need to cut contact and be distant with him or you wont move on - you have to live your own life forget him.

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Well are you sure their your friends and not "his", screen your calls, and ignore them, thats seems to be a popular thing to do...and oh dont forget the silent treatment that works well too. Im sure that the silence will say everything you have to say without saying a word.

 

Yes Im sure they are my friends, I didnt meet them through him, Ive known them the same time Ive known him. I wouldnt care if they were 'his' friends, it would be easir for me... duh

 

But thanks for replying

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i gave my heart to them and something went wrong and i just cant do it - i am too emotional maybe?

 

No, you're not too emotional, it's perfectly normal to have these feelings and you're being honest with yourself and with him about them...it's a lot easier and more convenient being someone's "friend", fake smiling and pretending everything is OK, hiding the depth of your feelings and/or masking them by neveers of happiness than it is to make the distance necessary to properly process these feelings and pursue a true friendship later on...

 

That's class in my book...

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