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What's wrong with me?


xtina
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I don't understand whats wrong with me... (again). I keep having these awful huge mood swings. Sometimes I'm really positive and love being around people and all. Nowadays, probably because of stress, I've been really irritable and scared.

 

I've been losing my patience so fast with all my close friends, making them all feel bad. I know they are talking about my behaviour these days.. I know it because I know how gossiping people they are. I feel they are losing pacience with my mood swings and I'm scared to push everyone away from me... expecially when I'm moving away from them.

 

At home as well. My father keep trying to talk to me and start a conversation, but in the end he starts making a fool of himself because I don't answer or look at his face, or laugh at his jokes.

 

I've been having awful headackes these days, feel frustrated because I can't concentrate properly, and being so dramatic about everything. I have so much anger in me and I don't know why. I feel like I'm going to burst and now that I'm at home, just feel like sleeping or crying. But then I can't because of the amount of homework I have.

 

I don't know what to do. I'm so scared to be left alone in the end because people lose patience with me as I keep snapping things at them, or not sayin anything at all, because everything that comes out of my mouth seems to be wrong.

 

Bah. I feel so tired about this. It would be helpful to see a psicologist just to talk... but they are pretty expensive, and if I went to the school one.. people would talk. And I have already too much past experiences on SI and stuff for people to talk about.. It continues even if it was 3 years ago and that for me now is past. But my class "mates" looove to talk about this because it's such a big "thing"... still, even if I changed so much since then.

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My son has bi-polar disorder and suffers from anxiety and horrible mood swings.

 

Have you tried talking to your family doctor about this? She can evaluate and refer you to a specialist. It's a good idea to see a professional's who can better diagnose what's going on. The cost is worth the help hun so long as you feel better.

If it's psychological or physical it's not your fault.

 

Though I know people can be insensitive.

 

Love

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