been broken up for almost 6 months...

[life_of_ai]

The breakup was really hard on me. We were together for 3.5 years, i moved 1000 miles to go to college together. She broke up with me, got with her new b/f 2 weeks later. They are still together. Shes partying alot now, probably drinking alot now too. That doesn't bother me too much no more. Yes, I did care and worry about her, but i've noticed im caring less and less. Her mom drinks alot and she hates it, now i see her turning into that. Surprisenly, i want her to turn out like her mom.

 

Over the course of our relationship, i turned her into a better person. She would fight with her parents and sister, but while we were together, it stopped. Her parents really liked me alot. I never cheated on her, never hit her, if we ever had a fight and i'd yell at her, or hang up on her, I'd call her back 1 minute later to apologize.

 

Meanwhile, she cheated on me various times. when she was 15, she cheated on me with a 23 year old, (they had sex). She kissed other guys.

 

She said she broke up with me cuz she wanted the single life, but she got with her new b/f 2 weeks later, so i dont believe that. THen she told me we were just together too long. I really loved her more then i thought i could. But im still young, (only 20), so i have time to find other people. Ive slowly started to talk to other girls, thats still hard for me.

 

Her new b/f is in a frat, now she joined a sorority. She told me what her priority list was...

 

1: school

2: sorority

3: frat

4: boyfriend

5: other friends

 

its funny cuz her boyfriend is in the frat, all of her friends now are in the frat, shes making her sorority friends now... the ONLY person in the "other friends" category is ME. It really is ME.

 

Im just gonna stop now, I'd really appreciate any responces you can give me.

 

Thanks for your time.

[Mstyiyd]

what exactly are you wanting advice on? Whether or not to call her? If you two have been NC all this time, I say let her call you. She may/may not, but if she broke up with you, cheated, all that fun stuff, don't you go chasing after her.

 

Most of us on these boards have made that mistake, and sometimes we have to make these types of mistakes to get strong on a long-term basis. I've been NC w/my ex for five months now. She hung up on me, I sure as hell am not going to call her. She knew I was a good person, and totally took advantage of it, among other things. I am the one who deserves better. She lost a good thing. My ex also went out and partied it up, thinks she is hot sh#@, and you know what? It's come back to bite her. I've been working on myself, staying single for a while to work on my issues, working hard, trying to improve ME. All my ex has been doing is partying alot, on and off, and doesn't even have her own place to live. She is in her 40s. I realize we're older than you, but there you have it....sometimes age isn't a factor and ppl act the same way regardless.

 

I would just suggest working on yourself, make plans for your future, whether it be college or career, don't bash her to others, her own behavior will, in time, speak for itself. And try to look for someone stable. You can't solve their problems no matter what you do; try and look for a woman who knows herself.

[NJRon]

I think being in the #5 slot would say an awful lot to me...

[cryingeyez]

are you trying to figure out a way to get over her, or what? that is going to be really hard for oyu to just move on i know if oyu were that serious with her. does she want to get back together at all?

[life_of_ai]

thanks for replying.

 

I really don't know what advice I was looking for. I just needed to tell "someone".

 

But she was someone very important to me, I loved her more then I thought would ever be possible. I do want to be friends with her, but as you may have read in my first post, I'm all the way at the bottom on her list. I guess I want her to one day realize what she lost. We both know that she was the lucky one, and that I deserved better. They always say that eventually all the partying will catch up to her, and as much as I don't want it to happen, I hope she gets a "wake up call". I want her to miss me, but she doesn't cuz of her new b/f and new habits. Maybe in 5 years, she'll let me know she made a mistake by leaving me.

 

I guess thats what I want, an apology for everything. To me, I lost her and I lost my best friend. Regardless, I'm always going to remember her, but we've both wanted to at least be friends, (whatever that means). She's said she can't imagine her life without me. I've realized that I can't always be there for her, especially since I'm so low on her priority list. I don't know, I'm just trying to figure things out.

 

Thanks again for your responses and for reading.

[NJRon]

Forgive yourself ...

 

it's not your fault.