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Does she want to be my friend?


PiratePirate
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Hello everyone, I'm rather perplexed by the actions of a girl I met last week so here is the situation:

 

Basically at my college, I randomly met this girl one evening and we talked for hours until it was pretty late. I thought we had a great connection. Near the end of hanging out she gave me her contact info without me asking, so we exchanged numbers and email and then went home. Immediately when I arrived @ home she messaged me and we talked for a bit until I went to bed. Lately she has said she's been really busy doing homework and other things which I believe is true. We were supposed to hang out Sunday but she had homework so I said I would contact her later and today when I called in the evening she said she had a paper due. It's been only a few days say 3 since I met her, but I kind of feel that she doesn't want to be my friend because she is getting pretty busy. She said she would call me if she when she had time or talk to me online...

 

So... my question is whether or not I should be worried about her not really wanting to be my friend? Our phone conversations were a bit dry, but the day I met her I really thought I did great. What have I done or not done to warrant this behavior?

 

Thanks!

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Your first instincts are probably right, she's snowed under in assignment work and homework. When I first started this job I got bogged down with the hefty workload and didn't contact anyone I knew for three days without even realising the time has passed.

 

You probably didn't do anything - I mean, who gives out contact info voluntarily without the intention to use it later on? Pirate done good. ^_^

 

Time flies when there's a lot to be done...

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So... my question is whether or not I should be worried about her not really wanting to be my friend?

 

Are you sure you didn't mean to say girlfriend instead of friend?

 

Maybe she wants more and senses that you just want to be friends, which disappoints her. Maybe she feels embarrassed for her seemingly unreciprocated romantic interest in you. There are a lot of good looking guys and girls around campus dude and if you don't follow through with things like this, she'll follow through with someone who will follow through.

 

And don't let the overused "busy" excuse deter you. Everyone is busy...the question is where our priorities are...if she really digs you and is interested, she'll make time...

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yeah, I'm probably a little paranoid and I need to give it some time. I had a little feeling that she could be possibly interested in me based on her actions, but I've only just met her! Again, I'll probably have to give it some time...

 

So I think the ball's in her court because she said that when she had time she would contact me, but that's very vague to me. I just don't know what happened and it's been difficult to find someone that has such a compatible personality. Should I just let her contact me or should I do something about this?

 

Thanks.

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No, you haven't known her long enough to develop a strong enough amount of rapport (connection) to expect her to remember to call you. You're going to have to develop an intuition to sense when you can start expecting things such as call backs. Until you get to that point, you have to be the one to pursue, and that might mean calling her again even if she didn't return your call. It definitely means you have to call her out of the blue to set something up or just to talk.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey Guys, I thought I should finish the story with an update:

 

So, I haven't seen her or really talked to her since that day I met her but yesterday I called her to hang out again. Basically she told me that she had just got a boyfriend couple of days ago and that she couldn't go out on a date with me or anything like that. I answered that that wasn't the case and she was like "oh". We didn't hang out. The problem is, I never asked her out or even implied that I wanted a date, I thought it was a beginning of a new friendship.

 

 

Now I'm really pissed because it was really immature of her to just act cold hearted on some baseless assumptions. That was just NOT cool. I also think the boyfriend thing is a load of bs, but she's a freshman so maybe they are just like that? Sure I was really friendly but I had only known her in only a few hours, I really don't think I flirted at all. This has happened to me before, I thought a girl was my friend but she had some other intentions and got jealous of another girl that I hung out with, thereby totalling ignoring me.

 

What could I have done wrong, how can i convey I just want to be friends?!

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Nah, you don't really want her as a friend. You're interested in her in a romantic sense so don't try and go the friends route in the hopes that it will turn into something. It's just the wrong way.

 

The just got a new bf excuse is common. Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not. In those cases, it's her way of telling you she's not interested without hurting your feelings so bad. It would hurt a lot worse to tell you she just doesn't like you.

 

So don't take it so personally, she just doesn't want to waste either one of you time. Now you're free to go and talk to other girls.

 

As for what you did wrong, you didn't pursue strong enough it apears. As for the specifics, we'd have to know a little more specifically how the interctions between the two of you went. Keep at it, you'll get there.

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