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am i too jealous?


gimmy3
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tonight my boyfriend said he couldn't hang out because he had plans with his friend who is a girl. when i asked what they were going to do he said that she was going to cook him dinner..that made me really upset. i told him before he left that i didn't like it, but he told me to stop and that it was just a friendly thing. if she was cooking for other people also that would be different, but its just the two of them. isn't that something couples usually do?? none of my guy friends have ever cooked me dinner before..am i being silly or do i have a reason to be upset about it?

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How often do you hang out with your bf? Did he knows this girl before he dated you? Reason I ask is because a lot of people have friends of the opposite sex and sometimes they will do things with their friends, and you have to understand. If there is nothing sexual between them and they never were attracted to each other and just are friends, then you shouldn't worry. Give him some trust and some space.

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Really, what constitutes a "date" per se? When people post about having friends of the other sex, people on here are supportive and say that people should have friends, that your SO should not be suspicious if there is nothing to be suspicious about and that having friends of the other sex is NOT WRONG.

 

Then why are you guys all ganging up on the OP's SO? So what if he has a female friend and cooks for her. That is not a boundary breaker now is it?

 

In relationships what would be considered boundary breakers? When I was dating my ex, I had friends of the opposite sex and I would hang out with them when I couldnt see my ex. Didnt mean I was having sex with them, dating them, etc. I went on trips with them on occasion because my ex couldnt afford the time or money to travel. He didnt have a problem with it.

 

I think you guys are being a bit harsh on the OP's SO.

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I wasn't being harsh on the OP's SO. All I say was that if there were boundaries made by the other person and if the SO continue to disregard whatver it made their partner uncomfortable then it would be consider disrepectful.

 

As for me, I would not mind at all. It's normal to have friends of the opposite sex.

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I don't blame you for getting annoyed by the situation. I think I'd get bothered too. And it just seems really weird that she didn't invite you to come along, I mean, that would be the respectful to do in my opinion.

 

I agree...your BF's friend should have invited you to come along. If she has something personal to discuss with him..she could do it in an email or over the phone...why go to all the trouble of making dinner?

 

Sounds fishy to me.

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Oh wow! Everyone needs to chill! I am with renaissancewoman on this. Cooking dinner does not equal relationship and date. There is nothing magical about cooking dinner. Maybe they are just good friends. I have cooked dinner for a male friend and he has cooked dinner for me, yet there is absolutely nothing going on between us. Strictly platonic, never has been, never will be interest. If a guy wants to cheat or have a date, he will do it anyway, dinner or no dinner. Perhaps the older you get, the more you realize that a lot of what people consider "romantic" or "date stuff" is simply very much a cliche and doesn't necessarily mean anything. I wonder if it is the dinner thing that is bothering you or the fact that he is friends with this woman period.

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tonight my boyfriend said he couldn't hang out because he had plans with his friend who is a girl. when i asked what they were going to do he said that she was going to cook him dinner..that made me really upset. i told him before he left that i didn't like it, but he told me to stop and that it was just a friendly thing. if she was cooking for other people also that would be different, but its just the two of them. isn't that something couples usually do?? none of my guy friends have ever cooked me dinner before..am i being silly or do i have a reason to be upset about it?

 

 

That is highly disrespectful. He's not respecting your feelings at all. Why is he going to his female friend's house for dinner? Very suspicious. Why didn't he bring you? Why were you not invited? I know that when my man's friends want to do stuff with him they always tell him to bring me. HE should have stayed home and cooked you dinner, my man said. Yes, you have a reason to be upset about it. It's your female intuition going off. Pay attention to it, don't disregard it. If you are suspicious about something it's because your internal alarm is going off- and it's going off for a reason.

 

I'd be damned if MY man went to some girl's house for 'dinner'. Uh uuuuuhhhhh. And he's probably the dessert. I would not allow that. Lay down the law- also investigate- and question those two's so-called 'friendly' relationship.

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Urm.

 

I have a male friend who I semi-regularly visit, at his house, one on one, and we cook together and have a fine ol' time.

 

And I don't screw him, to be blunt, afterwards.

 

Lemme see . . . I also went away with a girl (she is gay, I'm bisexual) for a weekend and we shared a double bed a couple of months ago.

 

I didn't do her. She was a bit drunk and hit on me, but I did nothing. Might I add..I was also drunk.

 

My boyfriend wasn't elated about either event/set up, but that's the life I always lead, the one I may always lead...and my point is, I did nothing wrong. And I wouldn't - because I LOVE my boyfriend.

 

YAY!

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