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Friends and love life (or lack thereof) at a dead end. End it and move on?


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I'm here to rant and get advice on a few matters.

 

 

I'm having a tough time with the people around me. I always make sure I'm there for my friends when they need me. But one of them is never there for anyone else. She keeps all of her problems a secret for months. She has every right to keep her life a secret but she always wants to know what's going on in everyone elses life until someone says "I need you." Then she sprints away. Lately she has been very rude even though her smile and smooth choice of words suggest otherwise. I'm tired of being cordial to her but I can't seem to break the habit. I don't want to lose her as a friend because she's ruthless when she feels slighted. She wasn't always mean but she's changed in the last 3 months. Should I remain her friend or move on?

 

I miss companionship a great deal. I'm happy 75% of the time. I try to enjoy what I have and focus on achieving more. 25% of the time it tortures me. I tried to take fate into my own hands and I asked 5 guys out on dates last week. They all turned me down. 1 by email who didn't reply 1 by phone 2 by voicemail and 1 in person. The one by phone told me he was busy. I saw him in the grocery store a few days later and he casually asked me out on the spot. I had just came from a 12 hour day at school and was tired. I declined. Now when I see him he tries to avoid me

I'm smart, pretty, nice, and ambitious. I don't wear tons of makeup or show a lot of skin but I'm still trendy.Guys still run away from me. My friends tell me how great I am and how I have such great qualities. Guys do not approach me or hit on me. What am I doing wrong? I have hobbies and I go to various events without looking for love. I talk to people and still nothing. I hate not sharing a kiss a touch or more from someone who turns me on. Battery operated boyfriends can't replace skin on skin contact. How can I get past this feeling and resign myself to being single and totally happy?

If I don't get companionship soon I think I'll die from not having it.

 

I'm starting to hate interacting with people because I my recent disappointments. i'm on the verge of becoming a hermit.

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i'm on the verge of becoming a hermit.

 

Sounds like this might be the best course of action at this point. Your perspective sounds to be shot to hell. Maybe a detachment from your current life will "reset the switches" and allow you to get back on the right track...

 

I say keep your good friends and family close and flush the idea of dating for a while...maybe take a vacation somewhere nice too...that always helps...

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You don't say how old you are but I've been where you are and come out the other side. That you're happy 75% of the time is good. Sometimes guys won't hit on girls because they don't think they are in with a chance. As someone who was single a long time ago, I would never hit on anyone who didn't show any interest. Also, if you come accross as "powerful", men will think that they can't measure up to you.

 

I agree with "Frisco" that a change of scene or vacation could be a good idea.

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Sounds like this might be the best course of action at this point. Your perspective sounds to be shot to hell. Maybe a detachment from your current life will "reset the switches" and allow you to get back on the right track...

 

I say keep your good friends and family close and flush the idea of dating for a while...maybe take a vacation somewhere nice too...that always helps...

 

I would love to go on vacation but I'm in med school with student loans that are worth enough to run a small country.

I hope I can make time for my good friends without making it obvious to anyone that I'm avoiding the not so good one.

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You don't say how old you are but I've been where you are and come out the other side. That you're happy 75% of the time is good. Sometimes guys won't hit on girls because they don't think they are in with a chance. As someone who was single a long time ago, I would never hit on anyone who didn't show any interest. Also, if you come accross as "powerful", men will think that they can't measure up to you.

 

I agree with "Frisco" that a change of scene or vacation could be a good idea.

 

I try to show interest a lot and most guys return the interest if we're gazing and smiling at each other accross a crowded room or if we're talking somewhere. Every guy I asked out showed interest in me. I found out one guy asked about me before I arrived at a party. Another guy showed a lot of interest and we talked for hours. None of them asked me out so I took the initiative. Could guys be mistaking my confidence for power? I'm confident but I'm not loud or boisterous but I make sure I look friendly and open to meeting new people.

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I would love to go on vacation but I'm in med school with student loans that are worth enough to run a small country.

I hope I can make time for my good friends without making it obvious to anyone that I'm avoiding the not so good one.

 

You asked how you could resign yourself to being single and being happy being so? Focus on you and your accomplishments. I know people who would give their left arm and four fingers from their right hand to get into medical school. And you're there, doing it, climbing the ladder to the top of the career echelon. Don't lose perspective of that point and don't let your negative feelings you describe above detract from your success. Feelings come and go but that transcript is set in stone and goes a long way to determining your choice of residency from what I understand. You have the rest of your life to find a man, but you only have one shot at med school...you're very lucky to have this chance...don't forget that and more importantly, find pride and a sense of accomplishment in it...

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Guys talk about being friendzoned by females. My problem may come from being friendzoned by every guy I meet.

 

 

Again, been there and got the T-shirt but have been married twice and had a few adventures in between. At med school, there's still A LOT of life to come. My luck changed when I was in my 30s.

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Again, been there and got the T-shirt but have been married twice and had a few adventures in between. At med school, there's still A LOT of life to come. My luck changed when I was in my 30s.

 

Did you change anything about yourself in your 30's or did relationships seem to show up without your changing anything about yourself?

 

You asked how you could resign yourself to being single and being happy being so? Focus on you and your accomplishments. I know people who would give their left arm and four fingers from their right hand to get into medical school. And you're there, doing it, climbing the ladder to the top of the career echelon. Don't lose perspective of that point and don't let your negative feelings you describe above detract from your success. Feelings come and go but that transcript is set in stone and goes a long way to determining your choice of residency from what I understand. You have the rest of your life to find a man, but you only have one shot at med school...you're very lucky to have this chance...don't forget that and more importantly, find pride and a sense of accomplishment in it...

 

School is so hard that I feel close to burning out. I'm scared I will burn out if I focus on it too much. I've taken a couple creative arts classes in the community to get my mind off of the stress and school. My friends help too but I still feel stressed out and lonely sometimes.

My friends and most people I know are married or have SO and they talk about how these people help their stress a lot. Maybe I'm giving the relationships I see around me too much credit.

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I think as much as anything I grew up in a way that I didn't when young and wasn't able to in my first marriage. I always thought of myself as ugly as I never got much attention but realised differently. I even sometimes get attention these days and peopel are supposed to look straight through you when you're in your 50s.

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what the problem is...

 

started about a friend...then dating...then guys...then relationships..if u narrow it down to one thing at a time maybe that might help

 

all i see hear is that u are currently having trouble with life in general and it is stressing ya out

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what the problem is...

 

started about a friend...then dating...then guys...then relationships..if u narrow it down to one thing at a time maybe that might help

 

all i see hear is that u are currently having trouble with life in general and it is stressing ya out

 

Life can get like this, I'm afraid.

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its up to us to set up ways of dealing with it so it doesn't bring u down...that's what a loving partner, a healthy relationship, and a safe home is all about...your oasis from the storm

 

That's the point. I don't have a loving partner or healthy relationship and when I'm safe at home my mind stays on the problems I have.

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I think part of the answer is to form healthy relationships. Perhaps by looking at the relationships you have and also considering what your behaviour is too. What aspects of them make you happy or unhappy? How did your behaviour/actions contribute to those feelings?

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I think part of the answer is to form healthy relationships. Perhaps by looking at the relationships you have and also considering what your behaviour is too. What aspects of them make you happy or unhappy? How did your behaviour/actions contribute to those feelings?

 

It's also about being able to be confident when between relationships too. You never know whether a relationship will be healthy or not until you get into it.

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It's also about being able to be confident when between relationships too. You never know whether a relationship will be healthy or not until you get into it.

 

My confidence drops when I have a hard time getting into a relationship. I start to ask myself what's wrong with me? Why aren't guys asking me out or why are hey turning me down when I do the work?

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