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Ex emails my sister--setback for me


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hey all,

for all of you who know my story, you probably know i was starting to feel really good about things..well my apparently my ex emailed my sister 2 weeks ago out of the blue..my sister emailed her right after the intial breakup--pretty much wishing her well and saying she was sorry things turned out bad..my ex never responded..now, 2 months later she emails her back saying it was the first time she received the emaill..total bs. my sister didnt tell me until this weekend because she knew it would upset me, and i was beginning my internship when she received the email from her..

 

anyway. i read the email and started crying. my heart dropped the minute she told me my ex emailed her, and i felt sick to my stomach.. the email basically said the she thinks about me everyday, worries about how i am doing, and tried to justify her decision...she leaves off saying i am an amazing man...

 

i do not know why the hell she is emailing my sister back NOW. i have stuck to hardcore NC for almost 2 months, been dating girls, having fun, and actually enjoying life.. now i cannot stop thinking about her again.

im not sure what i want my sister to do about returning the email..i don't think i want her to write her back..i mean, she didnt return her email for 2 months.

 

just when i start feeling better, she initiates some sought of contact, through my sister--...i have her email addresses blocked for months. it pretty much ruined my weekend..and now i have no desire to date the girls i have been dating because my ex is now on my mind...

 

anyway, i just needed to vent..because i was doing so great until this happened.

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Yep stay strong TBD. Shes just trying to make herself feel better because she finally feels guilty about ditching you after 3.5 years out of the blue for no other reason except to date someone else! You have better plans though. She had her chance and blew it. She is just trying to save face. Maybe her new thing isnt working out as well as she had hoped. But that means nothing because you have moved on.

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my ex sent me a similar email a few months ago. basically apologized for certain things and made an unconvincing argument for us being friends.

 

i was really upset about it, but i was talking to a friend about it and he said, "don't read into it, don't even think about what he said. that email is bullsh*t and you know it!" it took that simple statement for me to snap out of it.

 

like desertnomad said, that email is her feeling guilty, and trying to do whatever she can to feel better about it. it's a bunch of pretty words that are designed to help her alleviate her sadness and confusion...and even though she TALKS about you, it's not ABOUT you. it's about HER. she's looking for any way to come out of this looking and feeling good.

 

if your sister is cool with it, i would suggest asking her to not respond to the email. what could she possibly say? you don't want to get her caught in the crossfire, and you certainly don't want to invite another painful email from your ex. so if your sister would be okay with stopping correspondence, then i would ask her to do that.

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TBD~hi Good to hear from you. I'm sure that must have been really difficult for you. But listen, does it change anything? Because if you are not going back, and she is not coming back, then isn't it just more water under a bridge? You were doing okay, you were moving on, you are there yet..

stop looking back just because she might call your name...forward is the

direction you are going. Shake it off, put it behind you with the rest.

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u are all right..this is why NC is so critical..an email to me sister sets me back.. i can't imagine how people can "be friends" after a breakup.

 

anyway, my sister did email her back, and told her i was doing very well-which is the truth. she also said not to contact me because it will only set me back and that if i ever wanted to talk to her again, i would make contact.

 

i told her i dont want to know if she ever responds.

 

so keep on moving forward..

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