Jump to content

Freda
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

 

Well i'm here again and just looking for your opinions and advice - so here goes...

 

We had a fall out approx 5 weeks ago, which ended with him saying that he wanted me to 'p*ss off' and he never wanted to see me again. So i have taken that to mean it's over and he wants it that way. We exchanged a couple of texts to sort a few things out in that first week, and i saw him out in his car with friends but apart from that i have been doing strict NC for the past 4 weeks.

 

Anyway, i think i have taken it quite well. I have discussed/cried it out with my mum and she is being very supportive, i've been getting out and about and taking care of myself again. However, i'm now recieving anonymous phone calls both at work, home and mobile and it has to be him. He also sent a couple of sms txts asking how i'm feeling etc... to which i haven't replied.

 

What game is he playing? I really don't understand him anymore. These arguments have become so frequent in this past year and i don't have any energy to put into them now. I just can't be bothered anymore with the pettiness and silliness. We made plans for a life together and yet again he runs away, so i have taken his rejection to mean that he doesn't want 'us' anymore but now he is contacting me yet again.

 

What does he want? I don't have a clue what is going on in his head anymore - can anyone give me an idea please? Any advice on how to handle it would be greatly appreciated too.

 

Thank you x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did you actually do anything that would antagonise him?

 

It could be a friend of his.

 

What do you mean - a friend of his?

 

 

Basically, He didn't turn up when we had made plans for dinner, but i saw him out in his car with friends and instead of telling me this he lied and said he was at home with them and that i hadn't seen him (It was definitely him as he has a private number plate and a distintictive car).

 

No big deal, but a lie that wasn't necessary and plans we had made that were inconvenient to me. So i went round and put his dinner on his car bonnet and that was it. I know it was a childish response, but to be perfectly honest i had just had enough that day and the bare faced lie was the final straw. No damage was done to his precious car or him.

 

I don't think the reason behind the argument is the issue here, it was just a silly squabble.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two choices here:

 

If you want to continue your relationship with him ask him what he wants. But be prepared for more games, you had been fighting alot do you even want to continue it?

 

Or just keep ignoring him, he will eventually stop bothering you. Keep concentrating on taking care of yourself and your own healing.

 

Time will heal and the sooner he is out of your life the sooner that will truly begin.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A "friend" of his could be doing these "revenge attacks", so they aren't tracebale to him.

 

I think if he's prepared to lie about things like that, you were right to get angry with him.

 

Give us his contact details then we can all have some fun at his expense!

 

 

I don't think you understand what i have written - what Revenge attacks? I am confused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two choices here:

 

If you want to continue your relationship with him ask him what he wants. But be prepared for more games, you had been fighting alot do you even want to continue it?

 

Or just keep ignoring him, he will eventually stop bothering you. Keep concentrating on taking care of yourself and your own healing.

 

Time will heal and the sooner he is out of your life the sooner that will truly begin.

 

I am ignoring him and will keep doing so. Will he just stop bothering me though?

 

I definitely don't want anymore games - they are boring and tiresome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think you understand what i have written - what Revenge attacks? I am confused.

 

I do understand. In his mind (not mine nor yours) you have "wronged" him, so he has a grudge. thereforeeee he is being silly by trying to get "revenge" on you. What you did was in my opinion a reasonable and justifyable reaction to his lying but it seems that he doesn't see it that way.

 

 

Now if he is playing silly beggars, you can enlist the help of the board regulars to jam his 'phone and e-mail with crank calls, especially as we can do it from abroad.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do understand. In his mind (not mine nor yours) you have "wronged" him, so he has a grudge. thereforeeee he is being silly by trying to get "revenge" on you. What you did was in my opinion a reasonable and justifyable reaction to his lying but it seems that he doesn't see it that way.

 

 

Now if he is playing silly beggars, you can enlist the help of the board regulars to jam his 'phone and e-mail with crank calls, especially as we can do it from abroad.

 

We have a long history of nearly 10 years - he's not getting revenge on me at all. I am perfectly sure he sees what i did that night as totally justifiable. In fact, he most probably can't even remember why we argued knowing him.

 

I feel he is ringing me to make sure i know he is still 'on the scene' not to to play silly beggars. He's not a nasty/malicious person and would never seek 'revenge' that is simply not his style.

 

Maybe it's the way i have written it, but he's definitely not holding any grudges towards me. Full stop.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, if you continue to ignore him he will eventually leave you alone. If he ever does turn stalker like, as with any stalker type situation then report it to the authorities, but it doesnt sound like thats happening here.

 

 

I really can't see him being 'stalkerish' he's too normal for that. I know he has followed me in the past, but it's been more to make sure i am ok, rather than checking up on me.

 

My confusion is why does he make us fall out, then ends it - only to start getting back in touch again??? I just can't work him out

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He gave me two calls at work yesterday and then last night he text me this:

 

'I'm sorry for causing you Heartache. I understand if u have moved on. It's my loss.'

 

What is that all about? I just don't get him - he acts like an idiot, ends it all,then sends this. Does anyone know what might be going on in his head???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He gave me two calls at work yesterday and then last night he text me this:

 

'I'm sorry for causing you Heartache. I understand if u have moved on. It's my loss.'

 

What is that all about? I just don't get him - he acts like an idiot, ends it all,then sends this. Does anyone know what might be going on in his head???

 

 

To be honest, I don't think HE knows what is going on in his head! I don't want to jump to conclusions but the possibility of someone else is a plausible explanation for his behaviour.

 

Your options are to confront him about his behaviour in one last attempt to see if the relationship is worth saving but if you can't be bothered, dump him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To be honest, I don't think HE knows what is going on in his head! I don't want to jump to conclusions but the possibility of someone else is a plausible explanation for his behaviour.

 

Your options are to confront him about his behaviour in one last attempt to see if the relationship is worth saving but if you can't be bothered, dump him.

 

 

The possibilty of someone else has crossed my mind but i don't think that is it deep down. I don't know what the probem is, but there is something seriously wrong. He just runs away whenever things get too much.

 

 

In some ways i wish there was someone else involved as then it would be easy to end it and to understand why. Also if someone else is in the picture, surely he would just stop his contact with me altogether, instead of phoning/texting me everyday.

 

 

He has a very messed up head at the moment and i don't have a clue what to do or say. I am just going to ignore his contact as none of it is coherent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...