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security blanket


On The Road
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Tonight, I don't have anyone to call. Maybe that would understand. Maybe that would listen to me cry about my past.

 

I've done so much better over the years, and it wouldn't do any good to ruin what growth I've made.

 

Over the weekend, i was asked if my brother was, well "actually" my brother. and if that wasn't blunt enough, the person that asked also informed me that someone was telling people that i was "adopted"

 

this is true. but nonetheless. it is gossip.

 

why does this make me want to cry? because the setting as to where all of this is taking place is at my work.

 

and no one really knows my past there except maybe three people. and i enjoyed being the happy free spirited person that i can be.

 

but now, someone is going around telling everyone my past. and i can't get it out of my head. if i want people to know, i will tell them. its my business.

 

but now my managers are finding out. and i can't seem to figure out who this person is.

 

but worst of all, i've learned from this is that i am not comfortable still with who i am. because i cling to this family secret of mine like its a security blanket.

 

my hw assignment for the weekend was to create a timeline of my life, and i can't think of important events in my life. mainly, because all the lifechanging events that i can think of, i woulnd't dare let my classmates know.

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I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't think its really anybodies business if you are adopted. One person I know who was adopted got told by his sibling that he was adopted and was really nasty so the person told his sibling that he was chosen and that their parents got stuck with him. But the majority of people I know who were adopted I couldn't tell the difference they all acted like one of their parents.

 

I don't think your managers would have a problem with adoption.

 

Hope everything gets better for you.

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