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Cant stop thinking about her


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I have split with my girlfriend 0f 2 years for about 2 months now.every day since we parted i think of her.we dont talk no more and i deleted her mobile off my phone listening 2 advice on here.i know iv got to get over her but it doesnt seem right thinking about her every day.some days are ok and others are awfull. i used to be the "soul of the party" type of guy.now when i go out im down and all my friends question why im not acting myself.i saw her with another guy in a club, it tore me 2 pieces and i left.i never used 2 be like this!shes moved on and i know i should!but i cant and i need a reason why?im dating this girl who is actually ten times better looking then my ex (not that this matters,but making a point),but nothing compares.i want her back and its never gona happen,think im just finding it hard to move on.any advice would be appreciated!ta

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A reason why you should move on? Because, as you have already experienced, it hurts to have unrequited feelings. Holding on to someone who is unavailable is painful. There's no remedy for the hurt, nothing that will speed up the process. You just have to let it run through your system, go through the sad mornings and the sad nights, until it's clear. Before you can begin doing this, you have to reach a state of acceptance of the real situation. You're single, and in this time period your main concern should be getting over her.

 

One thing that caught my attention from your post was your mention of the girl you're dating being better looking than your ex. The fact that you would compare the two of them shows that you probably need to process things before you actually move on with someone else. If the girl makes you happy, that's great, but if you're using her to fill the void, then that's not being fair to her or to you. It's completely up to you, but if you're not ready and forcing yourself into something too soon, you're probably going to end up more frustrated and hurt than anything.

 

Good move with the NC though! Hopefully things are getting easier each day, even if only slightly. Best of luck!

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Shane,

Seeing your ex in a club should have been your motivation for moving on and it still can be. You're 18 my friend, you are going to get over this but only when you can stand there and tell yourself this relationship is over and I need to move on with my life.

 

I see ex's out and about in town just about every weekend, I promise you, in time you'll be able to do the same and not walk out. The only thing that bothers me about it is not pulling in front of the ex's because I don't want to appear to be rubbing it in or what have you. They pull in front of me every now and then they kiss a guy and look into my eyes. Of course, me nearly falling on the floor laughing isn't their expected reaction lol.

 

Main point is, you know there's no going back, you've admited here and you need to start processing it, learning whatever lessons you can and putting it behind you.

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Your just like all us, you are a man that has scene your girl with another man..I would say your reaction is so common I am actually surprised you didn't say you felt like puking.

 

There are so many things I want to tell you, but the guys on here are already helping you..and ladies, cause it's a two ways street. It hurts no matter what, it takes a looong time. Just hold onto hope. That's my best advice.

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k cheers for the advice people!Some days im fine, i feel as if im over her,then others i realise im not,just really confused. Its strange to think you can be with some1 for 2 years,seeing each other almost every day, then NOTHING. We split due to arguments and me ex not likeing the fact that i train for football tuesdays and thursdays,bit pathetic really.i did everything 4 the girl,even the little things like breakfast in the morning.i knw it sounds gay lads but i was really in deep with this girl!another annoying thing is seeing her walk around with the diamond neckless i bought her!how much!££££!lol,only jokin,hopefully she will look back on it and remind her of our good times together.just hope this pain and constant thinking of her wears off!

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