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I need to give you all some background so that you will understand my situation a lot better.

 

I met my bf about a year and a half ago. We were both 16. We were almost inseperable for a while. He would call me all the time, we'd talk for hours on end. It was really sweet. Then, about 6 months into the relationship, things got really bad. We argued all the time about stupid stuff. He eventually dumped me (heartbreaking for me even though I was so mad at him). I found out the reason he basically blew me off all the time was because he found a new lover and friend: marijuana. I was furious and deeply hurt.

 

During the 4 months or so that we were separated, we persued each other. He even called me the night he dumped me to talk and make sure I was ok (I know what your thinking). We basically acted like bf and gf even though we really weren't. The only difference was we didn't talk every day. We had decided to not talk for 2 weeks to see how things would go and HE ENDED UP CALLING ME A WEEK INTO IT! One minute he says "relationships arent for him" and the next he calls me up and wants to talk all sweet to me. He ended up asking me to be his gf again and I of course said yes.

 

This time our relationship is very unstable (at least in my opinion). He still continued to smoke during the first few months and we didn't have the same bond as we did the first time. We'd have our moments that were really sweet and sometimes we'll talk on the phone and our convos will be more than just me screaming at him and him laughing it off.

 

Then after hanging out with him one day and having a really good time, he told me he would quit smoking just for me. I was so happy because that was what I would blame all our troubles on (and I still kinda do). So far as I know, he hasn't done it and its been about 3 months. I've noticed a change in his personality (for the better!). He's back to what he used to be before smoking.

 

Lately though, my bf has been blowing me off every chance he gets. He doesn't call me when he says he will. He doesn't call me EVER. He hasn't seen me in 2 weeks. He says he cares but I feel that he doesn't. Its like I'm second in his life right now and all his friends, tv, food, and his drum set are tied for 1st. (stupid yes, but so true) He laughs at me when I get mad and yell at him over the phone. He finds it humorous I guess for me to be upset.

 

I have a theory that he doesn't wanna become like his best friend who is head over heels in love with his gf. (the two are ALWAYS together. ALWAYS talking. They've been together 2 months and they act like they're newlyweds.) His best friend has been blowing him off lately. He is really annoyed by it, so I think he wants to give the impression to everyone that he's a manly man and believes in the saying "BROS before HOS." Stupid yes, but its plausible in this situation.

 

So here's my question.

 

Should I try NC with my bf without telling him and see what he does? I want to see how long it'd take for him to call me and whether or not he cares at all. Can you give me any pointers as to how I should deal with this? How long should I do NC for? Is it a dumb idea for this situation? Trying to talk to him doesn't work, so this is my only option other than breaking up with him. I don't want to end it just yet. We've been together a long time and I'm not ready to throw it away without another try. (ignore my previous post! I was very VERY angry last night! )

 

THANKS

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think it's a good idea. Don't give in. I think you should wait until he makes arrangements to meet with you, and not the other way around. He feels comfortable and knows that you'll be there when he needs you, keep him on his toes so that he doesn't take you forgranted. Good Luck!!!

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  • 3 months later...

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