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Okay so i was with a guy for 5 years and he always talked of getting married i was always a little scared but gradually got used to the idea and he was planning to marry etc when a job abroad came up and he wants to go there he never discussed me going there with him but a long distance relationship or i come later but hen i couldnt find work if i did that we could have gone togheter but he didnt seem to want to and said it was because i didnt want to or to wait till his work was confirmed - so i finally decided enough is enought and asked him if he wanted to do the m thing one day with me or was he lying his answer was well i am scared i am not ready i need to see how the new life pends out why dont you come over dec and we chat about it then meanwhile i need time - i dumped him i still feel we have a chance but i think he doesnt want to be with me but grass is greener and his life before me so i called it quits - now what do i do to get over him he lied about our life together and i wasted my time - he says he loves me but marriage he isnt ready for now is that he aint ready for me or what he forced me to break up with him so it was easier and he was in denial - help please!

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Maybe I am misreading this but you don't come accross as ever being that enthusiastic about marrying this guy. Perhaps he got that impression as well and that is why he is now unsure himself. "Gradually getting used to the idea" doesn't seem as if you had a very strong love for him.

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i am a committment phobe and moving ot the next stage of life is scary that is all - things are good with him or were but i am such a cynic i look at all the artilce on divorce and that is why i worry about marriage - i literally would have to be dragged down the aisle but once there would be fine - what some of us are like this realtionships scare me.

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