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1 Month NC, Question for the ladies...


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Just reached a month of NC with the ex a couple days ago. Was a struggle at times but in retrospect I'm glad I stuck it out. I am still not completely over the breakup, but with NC I was able to stop thinking all the time about what would be the right move to make, what would be the right thing to say, etc. I have even found myself wondering less and less what the ex has been up to.


Thing is even though NC is working for me on my end of things, it seems to have riled things up from my ex's position. For one, I keep running into her girlfriends, and they are all being very friendly with me (giving me a hug hello, tryting to start friendly chit chat, etc). I can honestly say that most of the time their eyes light up as if they are intimately informed about my breakup and I suppose are reporting back to my ex that they saw me and all the information they got from me. I was hoping some ladies out there could give some insight on this behavior - I had always imagined that my ex's friends would act civil towards me, but I am a bit taken off guard by their friendliness.


In particular, my ex's good friend and roommate has been overly friendly with me the few times that I have run into her. Each time she asks me about my new job - I started a new job, moved into a new place, basically began post grad life right after the breakup - and my ex does not know many details about much of this. I get the feeling that this friend is digging for information...which perplexes me because the first time I ran into her she made a comment during an unrelated convo with mutual friends about "refusing all contact"...which I am positive was made in relation to the situation with my ex. I find it confusing, and honestly a bit amusing, that this sort of commentary would be popping up after 3 weeks of NC, and just one phone call within the last 5 weeks (at that time).


I am going to stick with NC, but I would like any suggestions on how to handle run ins with the ex's friends. Any suggestions here? NC has been good for me, but I must admit that I would love the reassurance that this big change on my part is having an effect on my ex. From what I have been seeing I think it has, but I'd like to outside input to put things in perspective.

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  • 1 month later...

To me it seems like they're definitely going back to the ex and telling them how you look and your ex is either hoping you look all torn up or, wondering if you still look good. All depending on whether she's wanting to try again or not. It sounds like you're handling everything very well. Hope it's been going good for you. Any updates?

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