Jump to content

Just a ramble


Recommended Posts

Today was day 21 after my ex of almost 2.5 years broke it off.

 

Two weeks of feeling sorry for myself and I'm working on move on... Been flirting alot with my RA, she seems really nice and I ran into her at Church and CSU (Catholic student union). I would have liked to get to know her better as a friend and possibly more at a later time. But found out today she has a BF, so guess I should be hoping for a friendship.

 

I still miss my ex, but if she came back to me I can't say I would take her, such confusing thoughts and feelings.

 

How long is to short to wait before seeing others? Are there any of those unwritten rules?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

theres no rules to how long is long enoguh kind of thing just start dateing when you feel its the right time to go on, after of my exs it took 8months to start dateing agin but then another ex i started dateing like 2 days later so it all depends on when you ready to go on

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I suggest start dating as soon as you feel up to it. I think that the if you even have "thoughts" about dating....its a good sign. You will be surprised how good (liberated) you feel during and after a date. It will feel good to find out that there are people out there that will appreciate a nice guy like you. I recently broke up with my g/f (lesbian) relationship. She broke it off after 7 years, and I immediately began dating, sure there are times when I feel sad and I miss her but I wipe my tears and move forward. Best wishes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hear a bit about the 'rebound' peroid. bit i really don't understand. When I was first noticing this girl i felt she was really nice and somone I would not want to get into a relationship with shuold it turn into only a hi, bye, relationship. Anyone care to elaborate?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A "rebound" relationship is one that a recently broken-up person dives into right after getting out of a previous relationship, as a sort of consolation/ emotional band-aid/ recovery tool. Since a recently broken-up person is usually in "relationship withdrawal," they desperately crave the closeness, intimacy, physical contact, etc that a relationship offers.

 

Unfortunately, this means that many rebounders will settle for "just about anybody" who is available and responsive, and their extreme emotional openness and willingness to be close to someone is often attractive to other lonely people. Many times, the people they choose to rebound with turn out to be bad matches for them in the long run, since they choose in a hurry and often pick people solely because they appear to be the exact opposite of the recent ex.

 

The worst case is where the rebounder (subconsciously) uses the rebound relationship as a kind of "emotional crutch" to get his/her self-esteem back after a breakup; once the rebounder has finally worked through all of his/her issues from the previous relationship, they don't need the person they were leaning on anymore, and they "fall out of love" with them.

 

Needless to say, this is really harsh on the person they were leaning on. Nobody likes being someone's crutch and then getting tossed away after a few months. It's much much better for a recently broken-up or divorced person to keep off the dating scene for a while, to work on healing him/herself and to fix whatever was causing problems in the recently ended relationship. If people are still having strong emotional reactions to their exes, it's usually a good sign they shouldn't be dating yet.

 

The only situation in which a post-breakup relationship might not qualify to be a rebound is if the "rebounder" was already emotionally "broken up" for quite a while, which usually only occurs with dumpers.

 

Best wishes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...