Please give some advice....

[MyTeddyBear]

my bf (ex?) Of a year and a half, said to me last Friday he didn't think he was strong enough to be with me. We were separated for 3 months then for 4 months. All the while he kept saying how much he wanted this relationship and he could wait to come back to me.

He has been back a little over 3 now. we went from a long distance relationship to acting like we were married with children (I have 3 kids from a previous marriage).

Since he has been back things seemed really good. About a month ago, I could feel him becoming more distance from me. I figured he was just adjusting to his new job, and life here.

We would only see each other on the weekends or on our days off since his job was 100miles away from where I lived.

It was hard on both of us. Every time we parted it was sad.

Recently we spent a 9 day vacation together it was really nice. We were happy.

He came back 3 days later, which I didn't expect. I thought he'd want some down time.

But I didn't say anything, and he came.

It was good... but I could feel something was wrong.

He left after the labor day weekend.

We talked on the phone during the week. He seemed depressed and not having much to say. He said how much he love me, I remember that because he wouldn't say that often.

Anyway, Friday came around and I call him. I asked if he was coming. He said he didn't know what time he'd get off work and it might be too late.

Since he took the bus he had to leave at certain time.

I could have come to him that weekend, but as the conversation went on I realized he maybe didn't want to see me at all.

 

He said he'd call later. He finally called my on my cell while I was at the store. He said, he got home too late. This is bull * * * *. He knew I knew that.

I said I couldn't talk and I had to go. I was disappointed.

I called him when I got home and asked him what is going on? He said, he'd been thinking about the future and where this is all going.

He went on to tell me, he didn't think he was strong enough for me. He said he didn't want to hurt me. He told me it was about him ...not me. He said he loved the kids.

He said, he had messed up everything in his life and never finish anything.

I asked him if this was "it". He said he "I think so... "

I couldn't believe this! I cried, then he cried. Said he had to go. I said I loved him.

We went back and forth with this for a while.

In the end he hung up...

I was devastated.

After this I went no contact for 3 days. I called him on Tuesday he seemed sheepish.

He said, it was weird to not talk. I said, it was good for us for now(trying to be strong).

He said, he didn't know about that. I said, I had to go, but we could talk later tonight. He said, not tonight. We'll talk at the end of the week, he said. Ok...fine.

 

I went to NC again. Thursday I broke down and wrote him an email in which I described what went wrong and I addressed the issues I thought were bothering him. (New job, new city, living in two places, going from 0 to 60 in our relationship)

Maybe it was dumb to do it. I felt like I had to say something.

Then I wrote him another email that following morning, it was short... all I said was that I missed him and this hurts. That's all.

I didn't get a response. I was hurt but wasn't surprised.

 

i know i need to get on with things. but i'm left wondering about so much.

he seems so indecisive. he always has been. i think he's bi-polar. he has always been up and down.

I know I can't wait around wondering he'll do. I truly am worried about him.

 

 

 

please give me some advice.

[Closure]

What it sounds like and I hope to God I am wrong is that he has another girlfriend and doesn't have the nuts to tell you.

 

That's my initial perception.

[DN]

It could also be that he is telling the truth and is just uncertain about the relationship. I would go on that assumption until you have proof of anything else.

 

I think you have done all you can. The ball is now in his court to contact you but you should prepare yourself for the fact that the relationship is over. Don't contact him any more but if he does not contact you within a few days assume it is over and begin the healing process.

 

I am sorry you are going through this.

[Closure]

Apologies for not covering this point......

 

Am a tad cynical today, well said!

 

It could also be that he is telling the truth and is just uncertain about the relationship. I would go on that assumption until you have proof of anything else.

 

I think you have done all you can. The ball is now in his court to contact you but you should prepare yourself for the fact that the relationship is over. Don't contact him any more but if he does not contact you within a few days assume it is over and begin the healing process.

 

I am sorry you are going through this.

[annie24]

yeah, I agree with DN. he may not have another woman, but this relationship sounds like it's on it's way out.... I also agree, go no contact.