how to talk to boy

[tackypersona]

i'm not sure if this fits in conversation tips or shy people but...

me- freshman, 14, shy, not pretty not ugly, need tips on making a convo

the guy- same grade, personality-wise cute, someone who is popular, known him from 8th grade

-it all started when i told him "go die" in a jokingly way when he asked for a piece of gum during lunch halfway in 8th grade. i was shy, didnt want to laugh/smile infront of others. unfortunately, he(and many other friends)broke through my shell with alot of funny actions/sayings. we'd small talk while waiting in the lunchlines. i had him in half my classes. i didnt go up to him and start talking cause he talks with other people too and im afraid i'll embarrass myself infront of those popular kids. sometimes i wish i could read people's minds. then i'd know exactly how they will feel. anyways. so i cant find a chance to speak to him. he plays jokes, make me laugh alot. im not sure what it is but we have physical contact sometimes. didnt see him all summer.

-9th grade- people sure change. i am still shy. cant start conversations sometimes, dont know how to continue it. especially around him. he still talks to me sometimes. but i cant even look where he is. i'd probably faint on the spot if i were to look directly in the eyes. i also get nervous if he's sitting nearby. i am so self-conscious! i hate that part of me! i dont know all of his friends(which are both boys&girls), only some, but not like they're my friends either. some of them say "whats up?" what am i supposed to respond to that!? what would they think? i tend to imagine whats going on in their mind. i try to pretend, but to no avail. so please, i need some kind advice. should i change something about myself?

[Millerm]

dont change ANYTHING about yourself

just be less shy and take chances

[tackypersona]

im afraid of saying something stupid, and he'll go away. and im not a person with jokes.

[tinkerbelle26]

You can't always worry about saying something stupid. That will get you into trouble because you will always be worrying about that instead of what is actually going on around you. If this guy is talking and making you laugh, it sounds to me like he likes you....not necessarily in a romantic way, but in a way that can withstand some awkwardness or shyness that may come from you. He seems like he wants to include you in conversations and his friends also are talking to you....so you have nothing to worry about. If they were shallow and thought of themselves better than you they probably wouldnt even acknowledge you. BUT, they are talking to you, so join in with them. Say "whats up" back...or say "just chilling, about to go to my next class." Ask simple questions like, what class they have next, or what they are doing on the weekend. Smile lots. If you dont have anything to say, just smile. Dont think too much about what you are going to say, just let the conversation flow natuarally. If you happen to get yourself into an awkward moment, just say I gotta run to my locker, nice talking with you! Back in grade nine, I was the exact same way as you....Just have confidence and believe in yourself. Who cares what other people think...that is the most important thing you can do for yourself!

[tackypersona]

sometimes he gets my attention when he repeatedly says my name, what should i say back that isn't embarrassing? i dont know what to say to him! all ideas are drained when i look at him. i sit next to him in orchestra! that makes me even more nervous! today, he sometimes glance or stare at me. then i get nervous and i can feel the temperature rise in my face. i'd ask what calmly and stare right back, even though it was killing me inside. i can't believe my self-consciousness is so high!

[tinkerbelle26]

I see his continuing staring and bugging you as a form of flirting. I think he knows that it bothers you, which is probably evident by the colour of your face (if you blush) and how you squirm a little. He knows that he is bugging you and you haven't told him to stop, so he is wanting attention from you. I think the next time he is doing this ask him, "Can I can help you?" and wait for his reply. If he says yes, ask him how...and then wait to see what he says and take it from there. If he says no...then just say "well, why are you staring at me?" It might make him squirm by confronting him on it, or it might get out another reason. If he says an excuse that sounds made up..for instance "cause I want to", or "because its fun". Just reply "I see" with a little smile and turn away.

I forget if you like this boy and want to date him, or you are just shy to talk to him.

Remember, the little advice im giving you is to use in discretion. If it comes out any other way, or you feel like you should say something else then just say it. Dont worry about how it sounds. You need to make yourself confident and just act like who you are. Never change yourself for anyone.

[need2bme]

Just walk by and make this funny clicking noise and bounce your head to one side. Kidding, of course...

 

Just say hey and tell him he looks nice and then walk away. Do that until he is intrigued.

 

BTW, my ex (yeah, I know) asked me out by first showing me pics of her family and then stuck in the question for the date. You could try something like that. Talk about a different subject that can lead into asking for a date or a walk.

[need2bme]

BTW, if he says your name many times, just answer many times.

[tackypersona]

wow i never thought of that! answering many times back! but if i continually saying what, the conversation will/might end, thus creating an awkward moment. i just cant think of anything to say! that's not because of shyness, its because i truly can't think of anything. i could have nothing going on in mind. like a person spacing out.

[tackypersona]

today in orchestra, the kid wanted me to say that he's stupid in chinese, yeah i'm asian, does it matter? he leans in and says he wont repeat my name anymore. i say i dont mind the name repeat thing and he says "fine", i thought i heard some attitude on the word. is he trying to make me hate him?

then we had some talk on family guy. we both watch it, that show is hilarious.

[need2bme]

Hey, I still tease girls and I am probably older than you 2 put together.

 

If you think you hear attitude, just tell him (jokingly), "is that attitude I hear?", "don't make me come over there", or whatever you feel comfortable with saying.

 

Above all else, do not seem needy. Just make him wonder...

[tackypersona]

last friday, me and a friend were walking to lunch. i look left to where the front office was and i saw the kid. at first the reaction didn't go to my brain. then i wanted to wave hi but i saw the girl i had mentioned in my post in friendship and friends talking to him. he saw me but he didn't say anything.

 

today in music class i sat down but he didn't say anything. i thought he's ignoring me so i avoid talking to him. near the end of class he poked my instrument string with his bow but i didn't know how to respond cause i'm slow and never expect these things to happen. stayed quiet. didn't like the awkwardness. then i turn to my stand partner who was talking to me about the teacher spitting at her (front stand closest to teacher) it was funny so i smiled and turned back. i saw him turn back also from side vision. i think he was staring somewhere. now why did he have to do such a weird thing?