Does history always repeat its self

[sweettart8848]

My fiance and I have been dating 5 years on & off. Every September we get into a fight and he dumps me. Each time its for a different reason. At first he is really mean to me, calling me names and doing anything he can to make sure I know he doesnt want me ( I've realized,He's immature and this is his way of dealing with the pain. Its easier for him to be mad at me than hurt from missing me) A few months go by, and out of nowhere, he starts calling again, or stopping by. Saying all the right things-"I love you, cant live without you, you're my heart, etc..." The last time we got back together, he changed bigtime. He was 100% comitted. We moved in together and he even proposed! Everything was awsome, until he let his leach friend move in with us. I couldn't take it anymore, so I moved out (we only had a few months until the lease ran out) We decided to wait until we got married, so I could save money and by then it would only be the 2 of us. (he didnt want me to go, I wasnt tring to hurt him) He started acting distant. Sunday, we broke up. And he's starting being mean again. I love him very much & want to be with him. I just want him to grow up (we are still young) Do u think this is like every other time, & just needs time alone and he will come back?

[Scotcha]

Either he's afraid of commitment or he just doesn't have the commitment to stay.. He bails out on you like clockwork.

 

What are you going to do if you get married? Separate every year? Get divorced every year? Is that really the kind of relationship you want?

[RayKay]

My question is why after 5 years of this you think it would be any different?

 

Sorry sweetie, but "marriage" takes place long before you exchange rings. It's something in the heart and mind, and he has shown over and over, he isn't there.

 

Really, do you want to be married to someone whom is not there to work through the tough times...and believe me, there will be MUCH tougher times in the future. I sure wouldn't.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I agree 100% with the other responses.

 

While it's possible he can change, I doubt he will, because he has no reason (and likely desire) to.

 

He leaves for whatever reason, realizes it's a huge mistake and comes back. Thats not the behavior of a healthy relationship.

 

I think at most, a relationship can withstand one break up. Anything more than that, and it *IS* history repeating itself.