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what is she trying to do??


Andrew11
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my ex and i have been split up for three weeks with no contact (her choice). when i tried to call her or try to get ahold of her in anywayin this three weeks she has told me not to call anymore and to just leave her alone so i stopped calling. she said she still loved me but she has moved on from me and doesnt want to get back together. she said we were on a break and she needed a little time to think. while we werent together i got a little drunk and had sex with someone else. my ex then said it was over for good because i cheated on her but we werent together when i did. after three weeks she calls me and tells me that she still wants to be friends and well see where it goes from there. now i talk to her basically everyday as friends like she wanted but thats not what i want. she asked me to do something with her the next day and asked me what my plans are for the weekend. i still love her with all of my heart and i think she still has feelings for me too.

these questions keep bouncing around in my head and i dont kno what to think of them.

1)why would she call me and talk to me after she told me that she was over me and never wanted to talk to me again?

2)is what i did considered cheating if we werent together at the time?

3)is she considering getting back with me when she says she has to see where things go as friends or does she just want to be friends?

4)how do i prove to her that she is the most important person in my life and i love her with all my heart? beacuse when i tell her i still love her she replys with 'we are just friends'.

 

i really need some help....ive tried everything and i dont want to be just friends with her i love her more than ive ever loved anybody else in my life....please help me!!

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!) She called because by not contacting her she longer had you pegged as to where you were in terms of your breakup. A breakup is a war, and you always want to know whats going on with your opponent. Since you were not giving that information to her "free of charge," she had to pay for it - by contacting you. Don't take her call as a windfall sign that things will work out...be patient!

2)doesn't matter. she knows about it now(how?) so the bes thing you can do is avoid bringing it up or apologizing about it. it really isnt the best thing to sleep with others when you are in love, but she dumped you and you were hurtin and needed some attention. thats it...as long as you dont throw it in her face than this shouldnt be something that needs to be dealt with quite yet.

3)yea she is considering getting back togetehr with you, i truly believe that. however, as long as you sit around and show that you will be waiting for her to make her decision allows her to not feel the need to have to make a decision! answer?? no its not to sleep with more girls....its to not make yourself as available to her. be a challenge! keep your schedule full for the next couple weeks and let her wonder what you are up to.

4)dude, ive been where you are at. you dont need to prove anything to her. if anything you proving, or attempting to prove anything hurts your chances. i suggest that you strictly be her friend and offer no more than you would another female friend - I mean in terms of compliments, time you share, level of communication, and sacrifices you make for her.

 

basically she will never have to chose to be back with you unless you show her the consequences of her decision to break things off...

 

good luck bro

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i want to tell her something but im not sure where it will go or what the outcome is so i need some advice before i do anything or say anything i regret....what i want to say to her is something along the lines like:

 

"is there any chance of us getting back together? because if there isnt i dont think i can be friends with you because just knowing that your right there and just want to be friends when i want to be more than friends hurts to much...i think no contact at all is the best way to go because i cant stand even seeing you knowing that theres nothing i can do to make you change your mind. i cant be friends with someone who i love as much as i do you."

 

would this be alright to say? is there anything else i can say or anything that i shouldnt say to try to make things better?...

i really need your help people im hurting soo bad!

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From previous experience, to be friends developes feelings over time. Maybe not from the day you start being friends, but over time.

 

I'v told my ex (we split up 3 days ago) not to contact me unless it's for a second chance and she said what if i want to just say something and i just said no. Anyhow we agreed to meet in 2 or 3 months time to see if a second shot might work out. In the two months apart, we both plan to learn from mistakes, try and move on, meet up in 2 months and possibly develop feelings for each other again.

 

In 2 months, i might not want to see her ever again? You never know. Try arranging something like this with your ex.

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