Can someone clear this up for me?

[JeSuisAllie]

Hi, I'm Allie and I'm 18. Wasn't sure if I was meant to post on this board as my age gap isn't too big, but I saw another girl on here with a similar gap so I thought I'd give it a shot.

 

When I was 16 I met a guy who was 24. We were nothing but friends even after I became legal at 17 (in my state). Still, everyone warned me against dating him because any 24 year old guy who is interested in a 17 year old is apparently a pedophile.

 

Then I turned 18. He's pretty much 26 now, and we're dating. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has said a word about the age difference. Nobody's said "What a pedophile" or "He's too old!" even though we are still 8 years apart, just as we were two years ago, and one year ago.

 

I understand the legal aspects, but is there a huge difference between a 17 year old girl and an 18 year old one? Disregarding the fact that one can get you in jail and one can't, why is a guy considered a pedophile for liking an almost-18 year old, but considered perfectly normal when she finally is 18?

 

I've noticed this with larger gaps too. If a 17 year old came on here and said "I am dating a 30 year old!" people would be very uncomfortable and say he's too old. But I have seen 18 and 19 year olds dating men in their 30s without any sort of negative lashing back at all.

 

I haven't changed much in maturity between 17 and 18. I haven't stopped being 8 years younger than him. So what's the deal?

 

Like I said, I realize there's a huge legal difference. But as far as judging the actual GUY and his character, is it really fair to call a guy a pedophile for liking a 17 year old, but then suddenly he's a wonderful guy who is fine to date a year later? I don't get it.

 

Did that make sense? I ramble sometimes

[SaRaHmArIe8588]

Well...even though 17 is the legal age to have sex in your state, 18 is the age you become an adult. Before me and my boyfriend were official, i was 17 and people gave us problems because they said i was underage. I would always get really upset because 17 IS the legal age of consent in NYS but then i realized that its not socially "ok" until you are 18. To the law you may be legal at 17 but to others they still saw you as a child until you turned 18.

[PhilliesFan001]

I don't really consider a guy liking a 17 year old to be a pedophile, because pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children. Though maybe I'm just biased because I started dating my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 24. And we're now 18 & 25, still together, so we did something right.

[robowarrior]

You know it mostly has to do with maturity next to the legal age thing. You see when your 17 your in a totally different life-stage then a 26 year old,let alone 30. So this brings in people to place 'doubts' it become different when your over 18 to some extend because people consider that more as an age where you determine for yourself what choices you make and who to be with in your life. I know that that 1 year is silly, but people have to draw a line somewhere i guess.

[2ndplace]

Lol.

 

True. But yeah, like SaRa... said "It's not socially acepted" for someone that is Minor to have a relationship with an adult/older person.

 

I think that the law has to step in somehow, because maybe not all male/females have the same intentions with their younger partner. This is something that I'm glad isn't accepted until the age of 18.

 

The day I turned 18, on my myspace, I received SOOOO many messages and adds from these EXTREMELY perverted men. Though not all guys/women are like that when it comes to dating a younger person, it's best to assume this. Though it's discrimination... it's better to be safe than sorry. And congrats. on your relationship. You are a winner in that.