Fiance left for the Army...

[Jessy]

Yesterday my fiance left for the Army. We've had a pretty normal relationships with ups and downs, but overall happiness with one another. We used to see each other every day, for the better part of the day. Now, we won't see each other until December, and only for two weeks... then he'll go back and be gone until February. We're planning to get married in December, and I will go to live with him at his permanent duty station in February, or possibly March, when he goes back. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.... I thought I could be strong, but everything I do reminds me of him, and there is no way I can see him until December. That breaks my heart, and I wish I could change it. He'll be able to write every day, and he'll probably get to use the phone once each week (hopefully). I need some advice on how to keep our relationship going, so we don't see each other in December and feel akward. I know we can make it through, it just hurts so much and all I want is the one thing I can't have. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[NJRon]

Well... it's tough. But don't think it's the one thing that you can't have because, who doesn't want someone following their path in life? You support each other. Follow your path too... live two lives together. It's a beautiful thing and you have some time to pursue it.

 

I know when I am separated from the one I love I feel like focusing only on the separation.. sometimes though, it's nice to know you have the freedom to be who you want to be and still have that relationship to support you. Take advantage of it and love it for what it is... that's a wonderful thing to have which many people wish they could share.

 

Hnag in there...

[Luck of the Irish]

His Christmas Exodus is only 10 days, so get married fast. What's his MOS going to be? Is he just in basic training right now, or OSUT? It's not his permanent duty station. You will move every 2 years. Be prepared for year long deployments, no money, long training, being taken away from family and friends, and if you can overcome all these, a strong marriage. If you ever have kids and your fiance makes this a career, they will have a stressful life as well. Swtiching schools and friends every few years. I've been through most of this before (military engagement, no marriage or kids) so feel free to ask me anything you want.

[coollady1957]

I have never had a spouse or boyfriend go off to the army, but my son has done that.

 

I would say write a letter to him each and every day. Send special little cards to him on occasion . I never missed a day writing to my son, even though I new that he might not have the chance to write back on a daily basis.

 

Their time is quite limited on personal time at the end of the day and sometimes they just don't have a chance to write. Be happy if you receive a letter or post card once a week. It wont be because he doesn't want to write more, but time usually just does not allow for much more than once a week.

 

On a weekly basis I sent care packages to my son for items that he needed or desired from home. Find out what things you can and can not send. I know my son and the guys always loved getting packages from home.

 

The phone calls will be sporadic depending on what they are doing each week,. Sometimes you will get a call once a week, sometimes it could be more or less. There are several issues that will deem whether they can call or not.

 

Just let him know you support him and love him. There may be times when the letters or phone calls seem depressing or sad . Don't let it get to you and reassure him that you will be there for him when everything is all said and done.

[Jessy]

Thank you all, very helpful... He's OSUT at Fort Leonard Wood for Military Police. He's applying for HRAP and two weeks extra leave after he graduates. Then I'll be moving to his perm. duty with him when he goes back. I'm expecting this to be really hard, but I'm confident that we can get through it. Thanks again for your replies.