Why Do they do this???

[flooglebinder]

She broke up with me a week ago saying 'I cant ever speak to you again I have to move on'. So why Did she IM me last night? Asked if I was OK. we had a chat, basically she was just telling me what she'd been up to and that she had a cold, and we had a good chat. I deliberatley stayed off the breakup subject and kept it happy and light to not make her think I was hurting. It lasted maybe half an hour. Then I said I was going(which I never used to do, she always used to finish the convo's). so we said bye a few times. I know she will IM me again if I'm online. But why one week say no contact ever again, then a week later contact me. Please can someone tell me what she is doing??? I'm under no illusion we would get back together, although friends we were and friends we could be maybe.

[Sad_now]

She is missing you....

[g44]

i wish i could hug her

[flooglebinder]

They don't upset me, I'm ok with them...today. Its just confusing how she was so adamant she couldn't ever speak to me again last week after dumping me then have a 'normal' friendly conversation online last night. Was she just bored and had no one else to talk to or did she genuinely want to speak to me? Wish I could ask her why she changed her mind, but I wont. should I just carry on being friendly if she contacts again?

[flooglebinder]

Hey ellie!

 

Thanks for your words, it is kind of helpful to hear it from the 'other' siide of things. What I did find odd was a couple of things she said. She remembered my light was out in my bathroom, and commented on my bath - she used to clean it for me! and mentioned she thought she'd bought some tickets for US. I didnt react to them but found it odd that she would mention things however trivial, about 'before'. Don't know if you understand what I'm meaning. You see, she broke up with me the same time last year, again right after her hols. Then eventually her bubble burst and she hit reality again. Wonder if the same is going on. She doesnt have many friends, and I was her best. It would be really good to sit her down and go thru it all but now is not the time I think.

 

I know the mess you speak about. If you are anything like me then you will be struggling to grasp a hold on your future but we never know what is round the corner. A week ago I would never hear from her again and today I have, however insignificant that may be. The trouble is, at the mo, the minutes feel like hours and the days feel like weeks.

[pacopaco]

i totally removed my messenger service from my 'puter. blocking her wasn't enough. just seeing that she's there is not good for me. I too want to hug and kiss her, and touch her, and talk, and listen, but to what point? she left me for someone. right now, what i want to do is forget she and i ever met, so i deleted the whole program. I don't have any friends on Im that i couldn't call if I wanted to speak with them. I felt so much better after i did.

the days and weeks will go by. what you do with them is up to you. I also was my ex's best friend. she confided that she has met no one she can call a friend. she knows no one at work cares about her, including her boss. but again, she wanted it this way. i didn't. i would have killed, and died for her, but she didn't want it.

[flooglebinder]

She IMed me again yesterday, as soon as I signed in, she was there. just to see how work was and what Id be up to at the weekend. So much for the NC - she cant do it, and I'm not sure I can either. So maybe we have to find a way to do this without NC. Maybe we're just not cut out for NC. maybe it doesnt work for us. Well I won't hear from her til next week, I know I will because she said she expected us to catch up next week. Tho no txts, and no calls just online. What a weird situation to be in. I want to question her why she is still in contact when she said she wouldnt be. but I'll leave it a while. So many questions. HELP!!!!!!

[flooglebinder]

If I'm being honest, I would say yes I do. But I know lifes not like that.

I know her better than anyone, sometimes she gets like this, its happened before. But we were that close. In time the bubble will burst and she'll realise just how much she does miss me. What I dont understand is that she said 'I cant be in contact with you anymore I have to move on or we'll start the cycle again'. and 1 week later she initiates contact, AND is expecting it to continue albeit just online. Her heart says one thing, her head another. maybe I should just carry on trying to get on with things and let whatever happen, happen ?