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Why do you hate your father? (companion to happytown's thread)


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I hate that despite his ghastly, horrendous, ghastliness, I still managed to feel love for him, and still deep down desired his love and acceptance.

 

I don't regret, but am amazed by the capacity I had, to still show and feel compassion for him during the five years he slowly died of cancer, sometimes I wonder if he deserved such nice treatment.

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I hate my father for choosing alcohol over his family. I hate him for our "special talk" when he told me he was moving out but things would still be the same between us, and then falling off the face of the planet. I hate him for making me call him all the time, and then making me cry when he shows no interest. I hate how he thinks he can just abandon me but then judge me for my mistakes. I hate him for beating my brothers while I watched and blaming it on me! I hate him for making me call him on my birthday, begging him to come out, only to be told no.

 

I hate him because I will always love him despite everything he did and it still hurts just as much today as it did the day he left.

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* pause hating posts for a moment here

 

(creeps into room full of hate cautiously, head down)

 

I love my dad more than anything. He has been an incredible role model for me to look up to (married 36 years TODAY to my mom, father to 4 grown children, hard worker who owns his own business and clawed his way to the top of his industry with blood, sweat and tears, who treats all others as he would want to be treated, who loves his wife and children more than he could ever say, who provided for us by crawling around in people's basements servicing and installing their heating systems and still does so today with his arthritis at age 65...)

 

He fell and broke his leg and required emergency surgery 8 days ago today, and spending the day in the ER with him gave me alot of time to reflect on what he means to me....

 

I don't know if he will ever know how proud I am of him and how much I love him.

 

(slinks back out of room with head down and tail between legs)

 

* resume hating thread here

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I have ambivilance towards my father for hitting my mother, using a 5 yr. old (myself) as a go between emotional punching bag to antagonize my mother and for being completley uninvolved in my upbringing. I don't think his actions were worthy of, nor worthy of expending my personal energy on hatred. Life is too short. I have much better things to focus on, like leaving that hurt behind me and living my life in a positive light. To those of you who have/had great fathers, kudos to you. You are fortunate and it is people such as him and yourself that help to keep the human race from going to sh@+ and for that you are a blessing as well as being blessed.

 

Question to OP: If you love your dad, why the thread? (Good one, though)

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Like I said in the mother-hating thread:

 

 

 

Although, I was quite angry with my father after that incident. He knew better. But he decided that protecting his own butt and going along with her crazy accusations was the right course of action. Many hours of therapy were spent working through the anger. The overriding emotion left is pity....and it's not all that strong.

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There is no way I could hate my father. He is the most loving, caring, and supportive man that I know.

 

He has been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and never judged me one day in my life for the choices and decisions I have made.

 

He and my mom raised me and my two brothers with love and respect. He has been there for me during some of the most difficult trying times of my life.

 

If not for my father AND mother, I don't know where I would be today. I have nothing but unconditional love and respect for both my parents.

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