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With someone falling for someone esle


NKP
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Hey all right now i have been in a relationship for a while now we both love each other very much. But lately i havent been with it and havent been pulling my way in the relationship. I hae also been falling for someone esle lately. I dont know what to do anymore. Sould i have a break wit the person i am with or should i just try act normal? really this is killing me so much inside, i dont want to hurt the person i am with

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If you wanted to be a real rat, you would see the other person behind your partner's back and 2-time until you decided who you wanted to be with. I've done that more than once and there's the constant risk of being found out.

 

You could take a "break" from your current relationship while you explore the other option!

 

You could do the right thing, which is break from your current partner completely and take the risk that the new relationship doesn't work out.

 

If you were married, I'd advise you to analyse how much you wanted to stay in the marriage and who else would get hurt, like kids. But you're not.

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Kita, there's always a certain amount of boredom that comes along with ANY relationship as it grows... no matter how good it is. You start to know your partner really well, and you start to take their good qualities for granted while letting their bad qualities bug you more. That's natural, it's only human.

 

So what happens is, when someone new and exciting comes into your life that you feel attracted to... that new person begins to seem more attractive compared to your partner. That's because (a) he is new in your life, and (b) you always want what you don't have, and you don't have him yet.

 

I'd say, think about this very carefully. Most people don't really know what they have till it's gone... and then, if it was really good, they miss it very much.

 

Meanwhile, get to know the new guy if you like, just as a friend. Get to know what kind of person he is, and as you get to know him more and more, he will become less new and less exciting to you. You will begin to see him for the person he really is instead of the brand-new-mystery-man who is so attractive... he may be great, or not-so-great, but at least you'll find out.

 

Do NOT try to avoid the new guy or keep yourself away from him. That will make you want to be with him MORE, which happens though it's totally irrational. It might also make you resent your current boyfriend, even though he never pressured you to avoid the new guy.

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