he wants me back...again

[lilys.eyes]

My ex and I have broken up three times...once by me after about three days, and then him after three months, and then he broke up with me again after 10 months (this was a few days ago).

Each time he broke up with me it was because he got scared of something. The first time it was my lack of experience, the second time it was because he freaked out because he was feeling bored in our relationship and was finding himself immensely attracted to my roommate. I was really upset, and he felt really guilty.

We talked yesterday, and decided that the best thing was to take a break (or at least, I call it "taking a break", he calls it "backing off and being more casual"). We're not going to see other people. Today I saw him again and he kept kissing me (i'll admit, I wasn't pulling away) and saying how he regretted breaking up and he wanted me back.

 

I don't know what to do. All my friends and family are saying forget about him, but I still love him. I do feel really cautious, which is why I want to take a break from each other so I can maybe sort out my feelings...but at the same time, I feel so comfortable with him. I like being with him.

 

I don't know what to do. I'm 21 and he was my first serious boyfriend...I'm so confused. Should I listen to my friends and family? He's a really good guy, I love talking with him and being with him...we just fit. I dont' know. I'm rambling. Clearly I don't know what to do. ARGH!

[friscodj]

First of all, your first serious relationship also brings with it a special attachment, and this special attachment can easily cloud your judgement and be mistaken for "love" and "fulfillment".

 

Secondly I agree with your friends and family on this one, you need to let go. This situation is clearly unhealthy and what's worse here is that you are being conditioned by this experienced to think you guys "just fit"...

 

You don't "just fit" or else you wouldn't be break up so many times like this. This relationship has a short shelf-life, you can find much better relationships.

 

Now what to do is the relatively easy part, actually doing it is a different story entirely...

 

One step at a time here though, first you need to believe that getting out of this is your best bet...

[KronicMan]

listen to your friends and family, because our situation is very similiar