confused on some things, any help would be appreciated

[igoturhey-oh]

sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy

[amylyn930]

First of all, their are a lot of virgins that are 20 years old and above. Next, why have you never had sex? Was the oppertunity not their? Do you feel uncomfortable to have sex? I would say just experiment with both girls and guys and see how you feel.

[igoturhey-oh]

oppurtunity never presented itself, or maybe i just dont know what the hell to look for

[amylyn930]

find someone willing to experiment

[igoturhey-oh]

hard to do, moved to a new town people seem way uptight compared to where i used to live. masturbate quite a bit tho, its a flip of a coin what i fantasize about, could be girls could be guys. what does that mean? bi? how would i even know if i havent had the experience

[BrokenWingedFaery]

It's not abnormal to be a virgin at your age, nor is it abnormal to feel sick of being alone. Your lack of sexual experience is NOT, I repeat, NOT an indicator of being bi. It just means you don't have much experience.

 

Go make some friends, guy friends, grrrl friends, maybe find someone you wanna date, but don't just hook up with someone because you're alone.

 

EDIT: your fantasies don't make you bi, straight or gay. They're just fantasies. Do you want an emotional relationship with a grrrl, or a guy?

[igoturhey-oh]

well i would like to start off in a straight relationship, but not completely lose those feelings i have about female im kind of stuck you see

[Tigris]

I was 22 when I lost my virginity that guy became my 1st husband. I was divorced and married again. This marriage lasted 14 years. I'm now engaged to a wonderful woman who gives me the kisses and cuddles I need, unlike the men. We're getting married in July.

 

Don't put a label on yourself. Have fun and see where your relationships go on from there.

 

Good luck

 

P.S. PM me anytime.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

"well i would like to start off in a straight relationship, but not completely lose those feelings i have about female im kind of stuck you see"

 

I don't see that as stuck. If you are bi, you'll be attracted to both genders still, if not, then you're something else. The only way to know is to date different people.

[buddafleye]

Hey there,

 

I can definitely relate to what you're saying. Don't worry about being a virgin at your age -- I'm 21 and still haven't had sex! But I've discussed that issue with older "mentor" ish types and some of them didn't lose their virginity until they were 22-24. When it seems like everyone's having sex (and trust me, I know it does), just remember how special it is that you haven't given in and are waiting for the right time. Lots of my friends regret losing their virginity when they were teenagers. But I'm sure you've heard all of this before.

 

I also understand your questioning your sexuality as a result. I'm still trying to figure that one out. I've only ever been in relationships with guys (and very few, I might add), so I can't technically label myself as anything. Sometimes I do develop feelings towards other girls and I also wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that I haven't had much experience with guys and so I'm just hungry to try anything out. lol.

 

I can't really give you any advice because we're in exactly the same boat, but what I can recommend is that you just feel things out (pun intended). lol. Don't pressure yourself to get in relationships with people... it'll happen eventually. If it's with a girl, if it's with a guy... whatever, you know? These are the years EVERYONE experiments. I wouldn't try to label yourself either. Just do what makes you feel good and that's all that matters.

 

But yeah, I'm with you on this one. You're not alone! hahah..

[FoxLocke]

I have not had alot of sexual experience and I've pretty much always known I wasn't straight(meaning gay)...

 

As others have said I think you should, perhaps, try a relationship with either gender...You can use the experience somewhat like sexual training wheels...

 

My big question is...which gender do you fantasize about the most? Who do you have the easiest time becoming aroused by?

 

Is it the same sex? Opposite sex? or both?

 

No need to rush. Take your time figuring it out. It took me along time to finally acknowledge and own my gay sexuality...

[igoturhey-oh]

well i guess it takes more for me to get aroused by thinking about guys, but i still do. i always thought it was because i dont know what its like with them, being with a woman is like being with yourself (if your a girl) right? maybe thats just a way to rationalize it. tell me what you think?

[BrokenWingedFaery]

What do you mean by this: "being with a woman is like being with yourself (if your a girl) right?" ?

[igoturhey-oh]

well let me see if i can explain this how im thinking. being a virgin and a woman ive only really masturbated using my hands, and if ur with a woman, they generally use their hands to give you pleasure so you can kind of know how its going to feel but i dont know what a penis feels like, because ive never felt it i cant really fantasize what it will feel like.

 

see what i mean?

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Um...grrrl use lots of things to pleasure other grrrls. Sex toys, hands, fingers, their mouths. But I sorta see where you're coming from.