LostwithJack89 Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 I've been with this guy for about a year and 3 months and we get along great. He recently turned 20 and I recently turned 17...so that makes us 3 years apart . We have a lot of stuff in common, connect easily, and "love" each other (I put love in quotations because I think we wont truly and deeply love each other until we meet). We really are a good match and both of us have randomly said that to each other in conversations....but there's only one problem. I live in Texas and he lives in England. We've been trying to meet each other since last spring, but all of our plans fall-through...the number one problem being his passport, he hasn't gotten it yet! He applied for it back in March or April and it still hasn't gotten to him yet. However, he's found out that they're sending it to him sometime in October....which makes it perfect because he has a break from college for two weeks at the end of Oct./early Nov. We're both ready to meet each other, but he's hesitant about coming on his break because I'm still in school...so he would be bored till I got home. So I'm now wondering if it would be worth it for him to come visit me on his 2 week break even though I'll be at school...We would have weekends to hang out and I told him that there's a lot of fun stuff to do like Six Flags Fright Fest, Speedzone, movies, dinner....and other things we could do on school nights or weekends. Do yall think it's a good idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 I do not believe it takes that long to get a passport in any western country. Please correct me those who live overseas... even if it did, *you* could have gotten one in 2 days and he could pay your way out there. Who is concerned about his boredom... him or you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 He is concerned about his boredom... And the reason it's taking so long for his passport is because he had to apply for citizenship in England first. Him and his family (mom, dad, and brother). The ceremony for their new citizenship is on October 2nd. And it's not really his boredom...he's just wanting to see me more often than just after school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Hmm... so, he is not native to Englad. If he is in England without citizenship, what the heck is he there with? As for him being disappointed with you not being around, i could understand that. However, I don't understand why he just doesn't sound like he is enthusiastic over being able to spend at least *some* time with you. You two have been talking for over a year... and it will be nearly a year and a half in total before you see each other. Why aren't you blowing a week off school to spend time with him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 He's native to Turkey. And they, his family, weren't able to get citizenships for a while because his dad was seriously sick for quite a while. He is excited about visiting me, but he wants to spend more time with me....and I can't take a week off of school. I'm a junior and I have two college courses and lots of homework each day in every class. Taking school off would be suicide once he left... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Seems like to omany artificial barriers. Speak with your professors... tell them you need to take a week off school and what can you do to stay on track. As for him, it's really little excuse. I feel as if neither of you are really *trying* here... perhaps you are too comfortable with the distant love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 I know I'm trying...but I cant miss a week in school. I'm a junior in highschool, not college...and It's not good to miss that much school. And I think he really wants to too, but he wants to wait until we can have more time together...like when I get spring break, but I think that's too far away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern_Girl28 Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Well you know i don't care about the age gap obviously. age isn't anything but a number Since i know you lol and we've talked about this before, i kinda agree with NJRon maybe the distant thing has became comfortable i know how much you too really wanna see each other but maybe it's just so comfortable he might be hesitant. I think meeting is really the best to figure out if what you two have is really "real" internet relationships are easier as far as conversations than being together in real life or phone conversations. Best thing to do as far as my advice is if he's still hesitant maybe you should think about it if he's bein hesitant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 Hmm... Should I talk to him about being hesitant? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Yeah, and maybe you should think about why *you* are hesitant... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 For me it's nervousness.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 After over a year... I would hope the nervousness would be gone. Either go for it full throttle or call an end to it... Plus, you are in highschool.. how old is this guy? have you been dating any other guys while you two have been chatting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 That nervousness wont be gone until I meet him. I'm 17 and he's 20. He just turned 20. If he lived here in the states he would be a Sophomore in college. I dated one guy for a little over a week back in March-Feb. of 2006. Other than that...no other guys...and he knew about the guy I dated. There arent any guys worth dating at my school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern_Girl28 Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 As one of your good friends. Maybe a break isn't so bad. It might actually be for the best. if he won't open up to you now on the internet how will it be in real life. internet is one of the easiest things to talk to someone b/c ur not actually face to face. i get hes nervous and ur nervous. maybe a break is wat u both need, maybe not having that stress of meeting him or wanting to meet him and trying to get him to meet you will be better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 I don't believe in breaks personally... you just need to define your relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 11, 2006 Author Share Posted September 11, 2006 I dont like breaks either...I'm going to talk about it with him tomorrow. Thanks for the advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern_Girl28 Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 breaks aren't the best but this is an internet relationship. anyways talking to him is good. thats wat u definitely need to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayar Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 I think you should be with someone locally who can fit in around your life. You're young! You should be dating and learning about guys now. Rest assured this guy isn't the one you will marry. You will regret it when he gets bored of you, finds a local girlfriend (if he doesn't already have one) and you realize your entire teenage life went down the drain. JMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 Ok I talked to him about him being hesitant and he said he's not sure he has enough money to come. He said that his college asks for a tuition fee around that time and the college wont allow him to have a job while he's in school so hes not sure how to get the money... And what he was worried about with the school thing....he didnt think we'd get to hang out much...since i would have homework and soccer practice and whatnot so that's understandable. I was talking about it and he seems a lot more enthusiastic now. And Jayar...trust me...there are NO guys whatsoever for me to date locally. And how do you know he wont be the one I marry? People marry their online loves a lot. *cough* eharmony?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostwithJack89 Posted October 5, 2006 Author Share Posted October 5, 2006 I'm sorry for double-posting....but It's been a while since my last reply so I figured it would be ok. I broke up with him and I've found a different guy that treats me better and cares for me, talks to me not just typing, and has two jobs so he can come visit me! I feel a whole lot better about this one And this time...he's the same age as me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jilligirl Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 careful that he doesn't want to eventually marry you just so he can become a legal citizen. i knew someone who was in this situation. just a heads up. i know you're young and all, but if this relationship evolves... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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