Not making further progress

[drninja]

I'm sure some of you remember my story. I've been off the forum for a couple weeks thinking it would help take this problem off my mind, but lately it's just gotten worse. To make a long story short, I was with a girl for 1.5 years, loved her very much, went through a whole lot of good and bad times with her, and really thought I was going to stay together with her forever. I know now that this was delusional, because back in July she told me she wanted to "take a break" for a month or two to work her own problems out, but she made it very clear that she had no qualms with me as a boyfriend and wanted to get back together with me. Basically she blew me off completely for about a month and then two weeks ago told me she didn't think it was going to work out, that she has feelings for someone else already, that she "loves me but isn't in love with me," all the classic nonsense.

 

For the first week I let it go. After all, this was 100% her decision and I cannot do anything to change her mind. And why should I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me anyway, and who can so easily develop feelings for someone else after saying things to me like that I "spoiled love for her because I was too great" and such. I still missed her of course, and hoped she would change her mind still. This week, however, it's been a lot worse, especially in the mornings. I keep dreaming about her, and they are always dreams where we are about to work things out between us and then I wake up and realize I probably won't even see this girl again for a year or more. This has started happening almost every night, which means that every day I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and have a terribly depressing morning.

 

At this point I just want to forget about all of it. I want to get over her so I can go out into the world and find someone who will appreciate me for who I am and what I do for them. Hopefully this is just all part of the process, but since the initial "break" it has been very nearly 2 months and some days I still feel like it happened yesterday. In the time since we broke up, I moved back to college again, and I can't go back to my parents house because of all the memories. Last time I walked into my bedroom at home I started crying almost immediately because of all the little gifts and reminders of her that were everywhere. This is putting such a damper on my life

[mc79]

That's a classic one. Reading it reminded me of myself when I was 19. Had exactly the same situation. First "real love" left in a manner of minutes just to come back into my life sporadically after a long long time, rip the scars, and leave again.

 

Keep yourself busy. There is no immidiate cure for a broken heart no matter what others may say. You just gotta live if off. But one thing can make it way easier - keeping busy. Best if mixed with other people. Join a gym, grab a camera and go out every day to take pics of everything, then edit them, it's a very time intensive task and it let's you get away from negative thoughts.

Take any of her stuff, little teddy bears, pictures, hearts, whatever may remind you of her and bag/box it and put away or if you really wanna go psycho burn it in a ceremonial way.

Burn a CD of all her digital pictures (with you and her, too) and hide it, then delete all the pics from your PC if you have any. Several years down the road when you're gonna be happy with someone else you'll wanna look back at them and laugh at how funny you acted on all this. Trust me.

And keep busy. You'll get over it. Best of luck...

[heloladies21]

All of your feelings are normal. Best thing you could do at this point is to start talking to some other girls. It'll help finish up your healing.

[motog]

youve been hurt mate with her playing emotional tennis with your feelings , i know how it is, you feel the hurt and loss and probably now wish you hadnt given her the break and said bye bye . but you did what you felt was right its not your fault . sit out the battle in your head mate get rid of the memories they are not there to make you happy its about you now . stay safe