acb_22 Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Just curious ... how many people are dating more than one person ... and having sex with all/some/most of them? Also, curious the male/female breakdown as well ... I'm not a player by any means ... just wondering if this is abnormal ... etc. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Well it's been hard for me to date and share a bed with Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, LL Cool J and Jared Leto at the same time, but somehow I've managed. Oops sorry, that was me daydreaming again.... Ok, now a serious response to your post: I do not think it's abnormal/uncommon today, for people to be dating more than one person and sleeping with more than one person. I think the key thing to ask here is: do your sex partners KNOW that you are not exclusive with them and that you are sleeping with others? I think if you are having sex with someone, you should be honest about your behavior. Of course, protection is a huge necessity in that kind of situation, and there are still risks (both physcial and emotional) even with protection. BellaDonna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quietgrl Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Man you are one greedy person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acb_22 Posted September 8, 2006 Author Share Posted September 8, 2006 I'm not trying to come accross as greedy, or selfish, or as a player ... I'm finally single, after spending the past 8 years in two different relationships ... getting my heartbroken in both cases. I'm still learning the dating game ... and curious your thoughts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vfunkera Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I do date many different women during the week (or at least try to), but i rarely get a third date out of them, which also means rarely any sex. If i don't see mrs. vfunkera in her after the second date, i move on to the next chick. Some do still keep in touch though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 It is all going to depend on a persons options and morals. It is a personal decision to sleep with more than one person at a time but when you are single you have that choice to make. I tend to find that there does tend to be some overlap as far as dating multiple people is concerned and having sex. No matter what you choose to do, you should be safe and realize the risks that you are engaging in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clementine orange Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 My rule of thumb is it's OK to date multiple people but I generally only "sleep" with one at a time. It's just easier that way - easier in that i have a clearer conscious. I think I would like to know if someone I'm dating is "sleeping" with someone else. Kind of a tough thing to ask though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I don't think it's too tough to ask. I tend to be blunt though. I don't think it is appropriate to sleep with multiple partners unless all of the partners are aware of the situation. I rarely believe in "implied" knowledge... because, I find that it never works out that two people truly are on the same page unless there has been explicit discussion. As for myself, I don't tend to sleep with multiple people... though I may date multiple people. Once sex gets into the game, I find the interactions with multiple partners to be a tiring juggling act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clementine orange Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 OK NJRon, how on earth do you ask "Oh by the way are you activily sleeping with someone else even though we are dating". It seems to have implications and/or accusation elements there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 First you embark on the exclusivity line... are we exclusive? yes or no... then, if not, you ask if you are instituting the 'don't ask don't tell' policy concerning each other's liaisons with other poeple. Depending on your level of intimate communication with the person, you could get even more explicit than that if you so choose. There is a difference between "dating" and "going out on dates"... if you are seriously dating someone... then it is to lead up to a monogamous relationship. In that thread, I don't see where there is room for multiple sex partners. If you are just "dating around", then the rules are established by mutual consent. I have asked bluntly if someone is sleeping with other people. "How many partners do you have right now?" The term partner is explicit enough to define 'sex' as being part of the equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinderelly65 Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 if i'm dating someone i simply ask them if they are exploring their options. which is a nice way of asking if they are sleeping with other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Hmm... if someone said they were exploring their options to me, I wouldn't interpret that as sex... merely that they are dating other people. Taking advantage of other options maybe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinderelly65 Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 maybe NJ... but i like this thread because i think that guys/girls should say what it is they are looking for. a relationship, sex, or whatever so that one person isn't left in the loop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 i think that guys/girls should say what it is they are looking for. a relationship, sex, or whatever so that one person isn't left in the loop. I agree with that totally. I don't know. Maybe at my age (which isn't too old) people tend to be much more explicit in terms of what they are looking for and are willing to accept. I do remember, back in college, things were much more ambiguous. You pretty well assumed everyone was sleeping around until you made a firm committment to one another. I never felt comfortable with that ambiguity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaBisquit Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 i think if you are having sex with more than one person you should have the balls to let the other persons know that. there is nothing wrong with having sex with more than one person as long as it protected sex and no one is getting a risk of a std. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quietgrl Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 I'm not trying to come accross as greedy, or selfish, or as a player ... I'm finally single, after spending the past 8 years in two different relationships ... getting my heartbroken in both cases. I'm still learning the dating game ... and curious your thoughts! My post was a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candy604 Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 i think it's important to let your dating partners know you are not exclusive b/c you don't want to be the one spreading diseases or std's etcc around and they should let you know too ( health reasons) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craign Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 i hope none are friends.Plus sleeping with alot of girls i have done that.But a chance of passing a std around can be pretty cruel.Get reguler clinic visits.Dont be the one to cause someone to have to live with something they cant get rid of.Im not knocking or preaching trust me.i have slept with three different girls in the last three months.Got to be wise though.have fun.Im male 32 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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