silence

[abbett]

i've written several posts here the past couple of months about my gf and i breaking up and getting back together, etc. also about her issues and how those affect our relationship.

 

none of that really matters now. i decided to finally end things this past monday and tuesday. since coming back together, it's not been the same. she was talking with me less, we were seeing each other less, she sounded less enthused when we did communicate, and i really felt like she was not giving much of anything. if something came up, she didn't want to talk about it -- it was just not a very productive or healthy relationship.

 

on sunday, she called and had to let me go because her mother came in the room and she was afraid since her mother does not like me that it would make her mad, i guess.

 

anyway, i called her back after an hour passed and she didn't answer, so i left a message. i suggested she needed to make herself happy and do what she wanted instead of always worrying about what her mother or anyone else thought. it was a very positive and friendly message.

 

she didn't respond but texted me later that she was completely overwhelmed and going to bed. that's the last i've heard from her! that was on sunday night!

 

on monday, i called and left her a message about what i was up to that day. she never responded. i called back at lunch with another brief message. again, no response.

 

that afternoon, i sent her some texts asking if i had done something wrong. no response. i asked if she could please let me know what was going on because i was confused. no response. then i told her that i guessed she wanted me to leave her alone, so i would, but that i could not handle this kind of stuff from her anymore because it hurt too much. no response.

 

on tuesday, i heard nothing. by tuesday night, i had talked with my parents and my therapist and had realized that i didn't want to do this anymore. my gf can not be the kind of partner i need and want her to be. we just don't fit. i thought we could fit together at one time, but we can't.

 

on wednesday, i texted her - no response.

 

so on wednesday afternoon, i had no other way to contact her but to email her - her phone was off, she lives long distance, i was not getting any responses - and i let her know that i had decided this was not the kind of relationship i wanted to be in. 2 days later, i still have gotten no response.

 

before anyone says something might be wrong for her not to respond.......i know she is ok - i've seen her making bids on ebay and such. so, she is ok. she's just not responding. what kind of craziness is that?

 

bear in mind, she has borderline personality disorder.

 

i'm ok with her not responding.......i just find it completely weird.

[Lealing]

I think that you should stop contacting her as she is not replying to you. The more messages you leave for her, the more you are going to hurt yourself. You need to give her some space. If you are the one to end the relationship why would you still want contact with her? Don't contact her unless she contacts you first.

 

Stay strong!

[abbett]

i've not contacted her since i let her know that, for me, the relationship is over. i also requested the $200 she owes me from a vacation we took that she agreed to pay me and a cell phone i let her borrow. you would think i would get a response, at least, that says, the phone and money are on the way. but i've not heard anything. it just seems if someone lets you know it is over, you'd have something to say - or at least a comment about sending the phone and/or money back.

[NJRon]

In my experience.. loan... you lost it.. phone.. cut it off. Don't know if that was the case since I couldn't really follow your post...

 

They are great people... you got to love them. But... cut that stuff off now. It will only dig you deeper. I have hyet to have an ex pay me for a bill... it just doesn't happen. I know you feel like a jerk... but trust me.. better a jerk than a cad...