Dating and Community College

[Hangin10]

It's about 3 weeks into the school year. I go to a regional community college. Plenty of cute girls around, so the specific one this post is about isn't as important as me figuring out how dating works when one doesn't really know the person at all other than sitting next to them in class and working on a couple of things. A good looking girl in another class made a point of sitting next to me and starting up with "What's your name?" and poking me and stuff, but showed herself to be kinda pushy in the next about 10min. Anyway:

 

How do I proceed? I had 2 girlfriends in HS, the first I met at the lunch table, and the second I met at homecoming after I graduated taking a friend (who ditched me for another of my friends, see my other posts). So I really have no idea what to do here.

1) Ask her for her number, and tell her I like to take her out for some fun. (which I dunno what it would be).

2) Like I said, I'm rather lost. There's really no downside to not trying something, as the worst case is loosing the person I work on English in-class stuff with.

 

Other concern is that I, myself, drive about 20-25 minutes to get there. If she lives in the continuing direction from the college, that'd be over a 40min drive for her to meet up anywhere I would know about. I know I wouldn't drive that far just to meet a girl, hot or not.

 

Advice? (sorry for the long post, kinda flow of consciousnessish)

[CarnelianButterfly]

Ask her to coffee after class and if it goes well then ask for her number. I'd wait until you've talked a little before going for the digits, it can be a little pushy to just ask someone you don't even know.

[Hangin10]

I probably should have mentioned that our class goes from 9-10 AM, so there's a good chance that she has classes afterwards as I do. I guess that means I'll have to find a coffee place in that town.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Even better, a morning picker upper, who doesn't need a little buzz to make it thru the day.

[Jinx]

Ask her for her number, and tell her I like to take her out for some fun.

 

For my two cents, I don't know if you'd actually use that wording literally but if someone asked me for my Phone Number - man, woman, little green alien, so forth you get the idea - and said they'd like to take me out for some fun I'd most likely smile nod and depart with a "Step Lightly with Purpose" manner, most certainly would not give out my phone number, maybe some email address that isn't of major consequence. For me it would be far too forward for a near stranger to do that even if it is meant with good intentions (Simple Date).

 

Though, I think first of all it would help if you got to know her schedule and life first of all. I don't know if you're into the whole "College Small Talk" stuff like - Whats your Major, What classes do you have, What Professors do you recommend - even though it is minor, for me it has opened up numerous doors. They're not threatening questions. they can be readily answered AND better yet can be added onto if they so desire and to restate, its a learning thing for you.

 

Personally, if someone approaches me like that, we make small talk and there is at least some type of social chemistry it isn't above or below me to ask them out to follow along on my latest adventure to the Cafe here or there or whatever. A statement offer, "Hey I'm going to the X-Whomevers-Whatevers Cafe at x : xx, would you like to come along? If you've never been there, they have excellent Something or other, ashame to miss out on." oftens gets the best results for me regardless of age, gender, and all those vital statistics. I make it extremely casual too, its a tone which is You can if you can, but if you don't, it isn't the death of me but balancing that between acting human.

 

There are many men and women I've met who don't quite balance it that well and come off in a negative way. You don't want to be deseparate but nor do you want to be absolutely careless, acting like it is a game perhaps.

 

College I found though is different from High School. In High School you have one method for Dating and in College it all flips, you're in with a different crowd most of the time with a different mentality which will not work with a flat line, "HS Told me so..." approach.

[friscodj]

Hey bro, I think in this case the specifics of this situation with this woman might help us help you...what's going on?

 

From someone who has been in school for too damn long, I can tell you that college is a relatively easy place to meet people. What better to have in common than the joys, stresses, and intellectual atmosphere of college?

 

The thing is, you're all essentially in the same boat and there are a number of things you can talk about, just be observant and be yourself.

 

For example, you walk into class, see an empty seat next to a nice lady, take it. You find the instructor/professor to be really interesting? Really boring? That last homework assignment to be a killer? Share your feelings with her and ask her how she feels. Who knows? You might at least end up with someone you can study with and get a better grade in the class, or provide you a little motivation to go when you don't really want to...a good friend of mine just got married meeting his wife like this...

 

You pass a nice lady reading a book of a class you took last semester. Ask her who the professor is. Same guy you had? Make fun of his dandruff and lack of fashion sense or something...

 

Lot's of options there. First and foremost though, you are in school to learn, get good grades, and graduate. I bet if you focused on that stuff the lady situation will fall into place on it's own...

[Hangin10]

Thanks for all the replies, I found out today (through conversation, she asked me about my paper) that she has a boyfriend.

 

Thanks for all the above advice, I'll keep it in mind while just going with the flow on this whole college thing

[friscodj]

Thanks for all the replies, I found out today (through conversation, she asked me about my paper) that she has a boyfriend.

 

Well there you go...

 

But there are a camous full of nice, available ladies who'd love to share your company I bet...don't get down on yourself!