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college:new beginnings


in_the_mirror
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so a few weeks ago i thought i was pregnant, turns out i wasn't....thankfully, not that i wasn't ready to accept the responsibilty, i wanted to go to college, not start a family. i was worried that my b/f wasn't there for me, and i talked to him about it and he said it would have hurt him too if i had to go through with an abortion, but in his way to comfert me he just seemed to want sex. being that we had just been extremely scared about pregnancy, sex was the last thing on my mind and i told him and he seemed upset and distant after that.

 

what i'm getting at is since the whole situation came up i feel like maybe we aren't as close as i once thought. i have gone off to college and i don't miss him like i thought i was going to. i mean i miss the feeling of being wanted and being around a person i care about but i have found that i want that from someone else at school. i am so confused my b/f and i have our one year coming up and we aren't really doing anything cuz i have class all day and he doesn't have driver's license to come up and see me. so we are just hanging out the weekend before and he might come up to school with me the day after. whatever i'm not thrilled but i'm not unhappy about it.

 

my dilemma is i have a thing for this other guy at school now. we have been hanging out a lot and we talk and he is a really great guy, he reminds me of my boyfriend now but he seems way nicer about everything. i know i need to sit down and talk to him about what is going through my head cuz if he just wants to casually date i wouldnt be able to do that, i get too emotionally attached to people to just do something like that. so if that is all he wants i just want to continue being friends with him, but if he doesn't i don't know what i am going to do. i would never cheat on my b/f now, and i'm just so conflicted on what i want. my b/f now is my only tie to home, if he weren't around i would have no reason to go home on weekends, but the guy at school opens a whole new world here in whitewater for me and i love it here so much....i don't know what is going on or what to do somebody, please help.....

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It sounds to me like you just aren't sure about what you want right now.

 

The fact that you aren't thrilled about seeing your boyfriend and the fact that you aren't sure what you feel is a sign that something is not right.

 

You are starting a new life off at college, and it's great that you are so far enjoying it. Maybe you just aren't wanting to be tied down while off in a new stage of your life. And that's ok, a lot of people feel that way.

 

But you need to think about what you are going to do about it. It's not fair to your boyfriend that you are having all these feelings and he has no clue that nothing is wrong. I think you need to talk to him and maybe take a break, or something?

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  • 8 months later...

i was in a similar situation my freshman year at school, you sound a lot like i did!

 

i would say - don't close yourself out of the possibilities at school! it seems like your relationship with your boyfriend isn't going anywhere anymore - he is at home and you are going to be at school most of the time now. visiting is limited. i don't know how your relationship is, like if you fight or argue or anything. but i think that you might find yourself satisfied with the new experiences available while you are at school. remember, these years do NOT last forever - in fact they fly by. you really have no idea who you might be able to meet... a new boyfriend or not. i wouldn't tie yourself back to home.

 

my ex-boyfriend was my only tie to home - now that we are broken up i barely ever go home but for family birthdays and holidays on occasion. don't worry about it, you'll find yourself going home less and less as you settle more into your campus.

 

when i broke up with my boyfriend, after my freshman year, i went crazy. i had so much fun meeting tons of new people - i never once wanted to take it back. but i did miss the affection and closeness so i often still spent time with my ex-boyfriend (which got messy after awhile). but, if you really think you like this new guy, consider it.

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