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why do people lie about being married?


SeaBisquit
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hello, i went out with a few of my friends to a club last saturday nite. i met this really nice guy. we both seem to hit it off really well. he asked me for my phone number. i gave it to him and he told me he would give me a call soon. i gave him a kiss goodnite and told him i couldn't wait to see him again. the next day i found out from a friend that he is married. why did he lie?

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The only reason I can think of is because he's a jerk who is looking for something on the side of being married.

 

It's kind of depressing that people would do that. But not everyone does.

 

Perhaps his marriage isn't going well and his needs aren't being met in the marriage, but still that doesn't make it ok..

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the next day i found out from a friend that he is married. why did he lie?

 

Because he's potentially a liar, a cheater, & a philanderer, with no morals. You have to wonder how many women he gives his number to and deceives.

 

In my last job, I worked with a corporate slimball who used to think it was "funny" how fast he could make his wedding ring "disappear" if he chose to. He would put his right hand over his left and quickly slide his wedding ring into his sleeve. One night we had a retirement reception for a co-worker at a pub, and he did his " ring disappearing trick" there and was flirting with a woman for the whole night. He had a wife and 2 beautiful babies at home.... but you'd never know it.

 

I felt like throwing my plate of food into his face or spraying "PIG" on the back of his shirt.

 

Don't ever talk to people so low. Avoid like the plague.

 

 

BellaDonna

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"why did he lie?"

 

Why do people do the things they do? Well, there could be several reasons why he lied. Perhaps he has no clue of the value of marriage and committment. Perhaps his marriage is on the rocks and he is looking for a good time. Perhaps he is separated from his wife. You will not know for sure. But regardless of his reasons, you know better to tango with a married man, it does not matter the circumstances he is in at the moment. There are PLENTY of available men out there. Stick to your boundries.

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I think cheating/intention to cheat in general (whether the person is a man or a woman) is very dishonorable. Don't be fooled- there are plenty of married women doing the same disrespectful things. I just wanted to remind people of that, so that this does not turn into a male-bashing post.

 

Also, keep in mind that there are plenty of married people who DON'T act like that too. (thankfully!)

 

BellaDonna

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well did you specifically ask him if he had a girlfriend; was married or did he just fail to disclose that he was married? Some people would say that failing to disclose is the same thing as lying but I tend to see it more as an active avoidance.

The reason why he didnt tell you that he was married is because he wanted to talk to you. If he would have told you that he was then you would have quickly dismissed him. You found out he was married and now you know that you should ask if he is attached.

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well did you specifically ask him if he had a girlfriend; was married or did he just fail to disclose that he was married? Some people would say that failing to disclose is the same thing as lying but I tend to see it more as an active avoidance.

 

 

Here's the thing....correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not too savvy about the dating scene....but if a man flirted with me all night and asked for my phone number and wanted to call and see me again, I would assume that he was single and looking.

 

-Maybe it's too risky to assume people are honest or virtuous and now you need to come right out and ask?

 

Question for the original poster: Was he wearing a wedding ring?

 

 

 

The reason why he didnt tell you that he was married is because he wanted to talk to you. If he would have told you that he was then you would have quickly dismissed him.

 

Now he really spoiled his chances by making himself look like a cheater and a liar.

 

 

BellaDonna

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You are definitely right BellaDonna. You don't flirt with someone then make it obvious that you are interested if you want people to assume you are married.

 

I guess you can look at it however you want, but he's definitely disrespectful to his wife, and that should not be overlooked. Especially because chances are he would be flirting and lying behind your back too.

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Here's the thing....correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not too savvy about the dating scene....but if a man flirted with me all night and asked for my phone number and wanted to call and see me again, I would assume that he was single and looking.

 

-Maybe it's too risky to assume people are honest or virtuous and now you need to come right out and ask?

 

Question for the original poster: Was he wearing a wedding ring?

 

 

 

 

 

Now he really spoiled his chances by making himself look like a cheater and a liar.

 

 

BellaDonna

 

It has been my understanding that just as a matter of experience that girls typically ask if a guy has a gf, sometimes they dont as they may be feel a vibe and get the hint that he is single.

Well in the realm of dating, people are going to lie and sometimes they are small lies and others are huge so if you really want to know something I always ask. I would love to assume that the girls I meet are honest and virtuous but that isnt the case.

He may have made himself look bad by not disclosing but sadly some girls do love the idea of a married man flirting with them because it makes their self esteem skyrocket.

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He may have made himself look bad by not disclosing but sadly some girls do love the idea of a married man flirting with them because it makes their self esteem skyrocket.

 

That's something I'll never understand. What's the mode of thinking there: "Hey this guy just wants to use me for sex or some plaything on the side, I'll be getting his sloppy seconds after he's with his wife the night before"

Yuck. :silly: I can't imagine how that would raise someone's self-esteem- but I do agree with you that some women are flattered by it. It's a shame.

 

SeaBisquit, don't fall for this married guy's tricks! There are plenty of honest men out there that do not have wives they're cheating on and that will actually make you a priority and not just a sexual passtime.

 

BellaDonna

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