wHERE do i stand?

[Seri]

i've tried to make this short... i have a few mental issues which make me incredibly sensitive. when this is provoked i tend to lash out in a physical way... whether towards myself or towards my 'partner'. he understands that when these things happen i dont really do it because im a bad person... i have a heart of gold.... but because i've been acting in sed way he has started to have negative feelings towards me. we ended up constantly arguing because he couldnt put up with me being depressed etc the whole time. we have been seeing each other on off for the last 3 months.....next month would have been our year anniversary. All the time he has said that he loves me with all he has, and that the only thing in the way is my 'problem' which im glad to say i'm getting help with. (meds, psychotherapy etc, ) he has always maintained that if i sort myself he'll be there for me.

 

Now

 

last night was the first time i have seen him in a week he broke the n/c and text suggesting to meet up with the friends i was with. i was a little scared bout this but decided i missed him so we met up. The first thing he did was give me a huge cuddle n a kiss n say that he really had missed me. he sed that it was still the case that he'd b there for me after i've sorted myself out and that he loves me so much. everything was going fine we were getting on really well and when i went to get a taxi home he sed that we could meet up tomorrow and do something together.

 

Heres where im confused.

 

i spoke to him over the internet when i got home to ask him what time etc i would meet him so that i knew what i was doin the next day

for some reason this made him flip and he said that all i did was ask stupid questions and that he took back what he said about being there for me when im ready. i dont really think ive done anything wrong! i was being careful bout being clingy....

 

he's saying now that we dont match even tho i know we have never had a relationship like this with anyone else. he sed he's not angry wit me but there is no way of us ever getting bak and he needs to move on n find sum1 else.

 

I dont understand why he says that he still feels so much for me and then can just turn when he feels like it. i wondered if i was being annoying when i was asking him questions but i went back over the conversation n there doesnt appear to b anything out of touch or needy. i really cant cope without this boy he has helped me with so much already and understands completley. i have been self harming and starving myself because i feel so low. i have no1 else because my good friends have all just gone to uni. i dont know how he can love me and then play these games with me.

 

So where do i stand.

 

I have now started the n/c thing again but my friend is back in a couple of days and i know that he'll be there. I have also decided im not going to tell him how i feel anymore if i speak to him which is what i was doin. How can i handle this in the best way i know that he will come back because im pretty sure he was genuine bout his feelings...

[beck24]

he might just be using you for security. he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't want to be alone either. and then he gets mad at himself when he comes back and realizes that he'd rather be out looking for someone else.

 

I can relate to your story because my relationship broke up due to mental health problems with me. My advice would be to just focus on yourself especially since you are having emotional problems. Work on being happy and staying motivated. Don't sacrifice yourself. You have stuff going on with yourself so in all fairness you have to work those out before you can accept another person around. At least that's what I'm doing.