Omg I'm so tired...

[Stinkweed]

... and BORED... I've had no friends since the ones I had in high school (I've only contacted a couple, but I don't talk much to them anyways), and I'm having a hard time making friends now. I mean, whenever I'm in the mood, I do actually try to talk to people, but 95% of those times it's like they don't even wanna talk, know what I mean? I mean, what's wrong with me? Maybe it was a once in a lifetime deal, but I remember that especially by the time my senior year was about over, I was so sociable, and I hung out with lots of people. I didn't have a girlfriend, but having friends was more than enough for me... In fact, I believe it's less work and lots of fun (well sometimes... from what I remember it was lots of fun). Anyway, I'm gonna be joining the only activity I found really interesting and I hope there will be ppl who could get along with a weirdo like me... I mean, it's just that looking back I remember I never made many friends in my honors or AP classes back in HS... Except for a couple of people, most of the people I hung out with I had met in electives, and easy classes...

 

But now it's like all the people in my classes are like those who were in the APs and honors classes... Know what I mean? I dunno what's happening... I used to be a huge goofball, and very unafraid of speaking up. And look, I don't wanna sound like I'm living in the past I'm trying to analyze why is it that things are so different now (besides the obvious... i mean, I'm talking about what's different inside of me), and they're not working my way anymore... I mean, it wasn't just the friends I had made, but MOST importantly I was who I wanted to be. Who I had been afraid to be in years past. Now I dunno if I can pull it off anymore, or if it's even appropiate to still be a goofball (I don't even feel "comfortable" like I did back then... but I do still wish I could be that way again) and not just plain immature... I don't know... It's a weird sensation. Back then, sometimes it didn't even matter if my friends were around, I could still be myself. Now I can't help but be quiet again... I mean, I felt much more confident, attractive and whatnot too, and I noticed how girls started to notice me much more, and the only reason I never did anything about it was because I thought it was too late...

Now it's just the same as before: girls ignore me, I'm a lot quieter I don't have any friends... so lame... Nobody would ever guess I was a completely different person just about 6 months ago... Even the way I perceive some things has changed, thus now I'm in a pretty bad mood most of the time. I mean, I had a feeling things were going to be this way again since day 1. I just thought it was too soon to draw conclusions. Guess I was wrong... And I mean, best part was that I never was one of those "bros" know what I mean? Those kids, they kinda look like frat boys and they're what's "cool"? I felt like myself. Anyway, I guess I'll just give in and continue to sleep these 4 years away if there's nothing I can do.

[sumguy]

You're the only one who can help yourself, no one else is gonna do it for you. Just keep on being yourself - your real self, not the self you imagine is popular - and hang in there. Make yourself more readily available to people, go to places and meet new people, join clubs ect...

 

You'd be amazed how often who we're trying to be and who our body language is telling other people we are conflict, and it's naturally off-putting.

[Stinkweed]

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it.

 

You're the only one who can help yourself, no one else is gonna do it for you.

 

In the end, that's the only thing that's certain...

 

Just keep on being yourself - your real self, not the self you imagine is popular

 

It's not that I imagined myself being popular... It's more like I guess I used to like who I was back then, and maybe that's why it worked out... maybe people feel the aura... I kinda don't like who I am now... I liked being funny, bold, witty, and having so much energy. It was like I was more relaxed... Basically there was no difference between who I was at home and who I was in public anymore. I can't find a way to reach that state of "relaxation" anymore...

 

and hang in there. Make yourself more readily available to people, go to places and meet new people, join clubs ect....

 

yeah, I'm trying... You're right, the only thing I can do is hang in there for now.

 

Thank you and best wishes.