Email from Ex...should I respond?

[justanotherniceguy]

I asked my ex that I wish no contact because I need time to heal. She emailed me last night this:

 

This is really hard on me as it is I'm sure for u as

well. I am really upset and can't stop crying. I'm so sorry for ever hurting

u. I hate myself for hurting the one person in this life that probably loves

me more than anyone else could (besides my family). Please stop talking

about drinking and hurting yourself, it really kills me to hear these

things. I don't know what I would do if u ever did anything stupid. I would

be devastated and u know it. If it will help I will move away from everyone

so everyone can stop hurting. I don't really know what to do. My family is

so mad at me and so are you. I don't really know what I want and feel so

depressed a lot of the time. I too just want to stop hurting. I am hurting

everyone around me including myself. As my mom puts it, u should be happy

but I'm not. I truly wish u all the happiness in the world bc u definitely

deserve it. I just wish that I could go back and make things right and redo

my actions. U deserve the best and I'm just sorry that I didn't treat u the

way u deserve to be treated.

U will always be in my heart. I miss u.

Love, XXX

[bluegal79]

Oh.. that made me tear up. I wish my ex would have sent me something like that.

 

She broke up with you right? Do you want to answer her?

[Meow18]

So does she want to get back together?

 

Honestly, I think you need to think about this. What would replying do for you? Would it make you feel better about the situation? Would it help you to get over her?

 

Whether or not you reply needs to be your decision. But don't do it just for the hopes that something will happen. If that's the only reason then I would suggest against replying..

[Jayar]

It doesn't sound at all like she wants to get back together. But it DOES sound like she wants you to stop making her feel guilty by saying you'll hurt yourself (and actually hurting yourself by drinking or whatever else it is you're doing).

 

I was in a relationship where my ex started becoming self-destructive and it CERTAINLY is in NO WAY attractive. It didn't help me, it didn't help him, and it didn't help us. It's not fair to you or her. Break ups happen. Take the time to heal, then move on. She did not want to be with you. Attempting to trap her with guilt and self-destructive talk is low and NOT something you do to someone you ever cared about.

 

As far as responding to the e-mail, if you do, reassure her that you were just hurt and you would never do anything to harm yourself. Tell her you will always care about her (or whatever you want to say) but that you are also working on moving on. Wish her the best.

[heloladies21]

Basically all she's telling you is "I'm feeling guilty", but it doesn't really mean anything to you. It's a lot different than saying to someone "I've reconsidered and want you back." So stay out of touch,but also lay off the drink. It's not helping you any.

[justanotherniceguy]

she broke up with her new bf two weeks ago and came crying to me...I listened as a friend...then she got back together with him over this past weekend...and I told her I could not take it anymore and asked her on monday for no contact...not even one day after I said that she sent me the above email...

[heloladies21]

Well she's disrespecting you by not heeding your request, so you should be a bit upset. Don't reply though, because once again and this is very common for dumpers to do, all she is doing is expressing guilt and nowhere in there did she even hint at wanting to get back together. Don't buy into false hope.

[NJRon]

It doesn't sound at all like she wants to get back together. But it DOES sound like she wants you to stop making her feel guilty by saying you'll hurt yourself (and actually hurting yourself by drinking or whatever else it is you're doing).

 

That's exactly what I read.

 

You're right to go to no contact. Though I would have told her that you weren't going to do anything to hurt yourself. You just need time. But, no need to respond.