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For all you folks who have been "in love" before..


TheRedQueen
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For those of you who are lucky to be, or have been, in love, how would you best describe the emotional differentiations between feelings of being "in lust" versus feelings of being "in love"? I'm pretty sure that I've never been in love before, though I am positively sure that I've been in lust a plenty. Thanks much for your feedback.

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When im in love,i want to hold them.I want to kiss them instead of have sex with them.I want to know about them.I get goofy.I write them notes.I leave flowers on there car while they are at work.I buy them cards for no reason.it goes on and on.Mainly when its lust im selfish.When its love im giving and caring.

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I think love is personal to define. Lust, to me is just the feeling you get when you see somebody you are physically attracted to, and that's what drives the attraction. Love is on a deeper level, a mental attraction to the person, and just a recognition of caring for a person more than your "average" friend. You usually go beyond the call of duty for somebody you love...I dunno, that's what I think, lol. You just know it when it's there.

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I'll stick my neck out here and alienate some folks.

 

If you need that person in your life whether you get laid or not.

If you feel like you have everything you need.

If your heart feels too big for your rib cage.

If they can hurt you deeply but you want them still.

If they are all you see in a crowd.

If they can put a lump in your throat with just a glance.

 

Especially after years have passed.

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When im in love,i want to hold them.I want to kiss them instead of have sex with them.I want to know about them.I get goofy.I write them notes.I leave flowers on there car while they are at work.I buy them cards for no reason.it goes on and on.Mainly when its lust im selfish.When its love im giving and caring.

 

What a great description of the inherent differences between being in love from being in lust, I am taking notes here

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I think love is personal to define. Lust, to me is just the feeling you get when you see somebody you are physically attracted to, and that's what drives the attraction. Love is on a deeper level, a mental attraction to the person, and just a recognition of caring for a person more than your "average" friend. You usually go beyond the call of duty for somebody you love...I dunno, that's what I think, lol. You just know it when it's there.

 

"A mental attraction to the person"... I like that observation a lot, it seems to make perfect sense.

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I'll stick my neck out here and alienate some folks.

 

If you need that person in your life whether you get laid or not.

If you feel like you have everything you need.

If your heart feels too big for your rib cage.

If they can hurt you deeply but you want them still.

If they are all you see in a crowd.

If they can put a lump in your throat with just a glance.

 

Especially after years have passed.

 

This sounds amazing and terrifying at the same time, perhaps I am lucky that I have never been in love?

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It scares the crap outta me, but it's worth it.

I once thought a four-star roll in the hay was so amazing, but it only lasts a while, and is essentially the result of Nature screaming at you through hormones to make babies.

Don't get me wrong, sex is dynamite but with someone you love deeply, it's so much more intense and moving.

 

I sound like Mr. Rodgers, don't I?

Jeeze.

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For me love is happiness and intensely caring for someone else. You want every part of them good or bad, just because its them. Your whole body wants them just to hug or touch, having them close is the best thing in the world. The sound of their voice lifts your heart and their eyes are the most beautiful thing in the world.

 

For me lust never felt good, there's attraction and want, but after feeling love, lust is it's drug addict sibling that is always looking for a fix. There's not much happiness in lust, its gratification or pleasure, but not joy. I think lust is a darker emotion when not tempered by love. Lust is still love's blood, but while the are related they are very different animals.

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Biblical version, pretty much on the money;

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

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In regards to love, I want something real. I want someone who is real, flawed, f'd up, and beautiful still. I want someone to see me, the real me, the me that peeks through the b.s. fronts, and built up fortresses my past has lead me to create. Perhaps I want something I can never have. It almost seems that the closer you get to someone, the more you realize the impenetrable distance that lies between you.

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In regards to love, I want something real. I want someone who is real, flawed, f'd up, and beautiful still. I want someone to see me, the real me, the me that peeks through the b.s. fronts, and built up fortresses my past has lead me to create. Perhaps I want something I can never have. It almost seems that the closer you get to someone, the more you realize the impenetrable distance that lies between you.

Red, guess what? I think it's your lucky day because I am someone who happens to be real, flawed, f'd up and beautiful still, someone who also just so happens to see the real you, the you that peeks through the b.s. fronts and built up fortresses. And taking all of this into consideration I want you to know, truly know, that I love you and that you can have me everyday for the rest of your life. Oh, and as for all this "impenetrable distance" gibberish that you speak of, that will never be the case with you and me.

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I found this on the topic...

 

Infatuation is instant desire,

one set of glands calling to another.

 

Love is friendship that has caught fire.

It takes root and grows,

one day at a time.

 

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.

You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.

There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions,

little bits pieces about your beloved

that you would just as soon examine too closely.

It might spoil the dream.

 

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection.

It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you,to bolster your beloved.

 

You are warmed by his presense, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him near. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.

 

Infatuation says,"We must get married right away.

I can't risk losing him."

 

Love says, "Be patient. He is yours. Plan your future with confidence."

 

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are in one another's company you are hoping it will end in intimacy.

 

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

 

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating.

Sometimes you check.

 

Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened. He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy.

 

Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later, but love never will.

 

Love lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

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Biblical version, pretty much on the money;

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

 

If this is true...then I don't think that I am in love nor am I being loved back!

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Love is sincerely caring about someone. You would do just about anything possible to see them happy. Love is that connection you feel with someone that you can't explain. You feel close to them without being physical. It's wanting to know someone more even if you know them well. Love is the patience to listen to someone whenever they need to talk and comforting them comes naturally. Seeing them cry hurts. Their smile makes you warm. You smile not by your lips, but from your heart. Silences are not awkward. Things others find annoying you don't.

 

Love is the ability to see an imperfect person perfectly.

 

I am currently in love but wish I wasn't. Why? Because my gf of 2 1/2 years (2 years LDR) broke my heart almost 3 weeks ago. She needs time being single to see how she feels to figure out if we're meant to be together, and if she does believe we are meant to be we will probably still be doing LDR for a couple more years (which of course I would do but I don't know if she would). Sigh. Sucks because being in love is a feeling so embedded that I believe time and distance aren't enough for you to fall out of love. Memories fade but being in love is not about memories. It is a feeling we can't can't flick the switch off and control.

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lust doesn't make you stay up night after night with your pulse pounding in your stomach.

 

lust doesn't make you wrench your guts writing second-rate poetry.

 

lust doesn't leave you curled up in a ball wishing you would disappear.

 

...doesn't make grown men cry.

 

...doesn't make * * * *ty love songs sound like the best thing ever written.

 

...doesn't make thousands leap from tall buildings with notes in their pockets.

 

...didn't make me the fool i am.

 

love is a monster. run from it.

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