Email from the Ex: Should I email her back?

[TheGetUpKid]

So the EX and I have been broken up for about 2 months now. One of the reasons why we broke up was because she's studying abroad in Italy for three months. Before she left for Italy she had promised that she was going to email me how she felt and what not. She did'nt end up emailing me until now. This is the email:

 

So I am sorry I never wrote that emial before I left, I just couldn't bring myself to. But all I was going to say was that I love you, I really do and if we were

to ever get back together in the future that would be great, but I think these three months being apart is kinda something that we needed you know? No matter what I am always going to love you cause you are my best friend. It was very hard to say goodbye to you that night, I have never cried so much in my life. But yea, so I miss you and maybe when I get back we can see where things are at?I am trying to come home for fall break because everyone else is leaving and I do not want to stay here by myself so maybe I can see you in october, if not def. december when I get home. Have a good semester and hopefully we can talk through email,

 

I have been trying to go NC with her so I deleted her off of my myspace and facebook. I guess when she found out she sent me another email:

 

okay so listen, i am guessing you are pissed at me, thats why i never wanted to send you that email but figured i had to, i am really homesick and just want to stay in contact with you, please don't cut all ties from me which i feel like you have since you deleted me from your facebook and myspace, what the hell was up with that, can we please just stay friends, please, you mean the world and more to me even if we are not together, i understand if you are mad at me, but please email me back and explain, i feel you at least owe me an explanation of everything and why you did that.

 

 

I really dont know what to email her back. I mean yes I still love her and have feelings for her (We were together for 4 years). At my mindset right now I would get back together with her but Id rather not get my hopes up.

[NJRon]

"I mean yes I still love you and have feelings for you (We were together for 4 years). At my mindset right now I would get back together with you bu,t I'd rather not get my hopes up."

 

That sounds pretty nice. Depends on whether you want to open the door a little. But, if you are afraid of getting hurt agian and don't think that you really see yourself getting back together again... then better to just say, " I'm not mad, it's just over... have a nice life."

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I think it depends on whether you want to get back or not. Sounds like she broke up because you weren't going to see eachother for awhile and long distance relationships are hard. It's up to you.

[heloladies21]

Address this very directly. I'd email her back "Are you interested in getting back together with me right now?" and then see what she says. If she gives you any of this stuff about friends or whatever, tell her you're only interested in a relationship and friends just won't do. I would tell her that if she reconsiders in the future, feel free to contact and "we'll talk" but otherwise prefer NC.

[TheGetUpKid]

Depends on whether you want to open the door a little. But, if you are afraid of getting hurt agian and don't think that you really see yourself getting back together again

 

I would like to keep the door open a little and maybe stay friends with her, but this is'nt the first time we broke up.

 

I think it depends on whether you want to get back or not. Sounds like she broke up because you weren't going to see eachother for awhile and long distance relationships are hard. It's up to you.

 

I do and I dont want to get back together with her. But since shes gone for 3 months I cant really make a decision until she gets back and I would hurt to hang on to hope for something that may or may not happen. And trust me, I know how hard long distance relationiships can be. We actually go to separate colleges 2 hours away and only saw eachother on the weekend.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Maybe you should get back to her and say something like "I'm not sure, but I'm willing to try." Afterall, like you said, when she gets back things might be different. I think you should keep the door open a bit, till she gets back and then see how it goes.

[TheGetUpKid]

Well heres what I emailed to her:

 

I'm glad to hear you are enjoying Italy. I'm not mad at you for sending me that email, its good to hear from you. I was upset because you had said you were going to write it earlier but I do understand you had other things going on in your life. I would've replied earlier but I was at my parent's house so I hadn't checked my email for a couple of days. As for my myspace and facebook, I felt it was something I needed to do to move on. If you would like I'll add you back. I'm not mad, nor do I hate you in any way. I consider you as my best friend as well. But going from being in a deep relationship to being just "friends" especially since not alot of time has passed is difficult. Don't take that the wrong way because like I said before I do consider you my best friend. Anyways I hope that you enjoy yourself in Italy. Take care .

 

And heres what she replied back:

 

Its okay I just feel if we are friends we should still keep in contact, I know it has not been that long since we broke up but i want to keep in contact while i am still here, I think it will help with me being away to "get over us" but by having facebook and myspace i want you to be bale to see my pictures and everything. but i guess you have to do what you gotta do take care

 

Do you think I have totaly closed the door between her and I? I really dont want to, I think it would be great if we did end up back together but.... I dont know, I guess I have my doubts if shes being sincere about seeing if we could get back together.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Well by telling her that you wanted to move from being in a relationship to just being 'best friends', yes I think you have just closed the door on your relationship.

 

Now I'm confused, because I originally thought you two were opening negotiations on reestablishing your bf/gf relationship, not how to establish a new bestfriendship.

 

On a side note, 'be able' is spelled 'be able', not 'bale'.

[TheGetUpKid]

 

Now I'm confused, because I originally thought you two were opening negotiations on reestablishing your bf/gf relationship, not how to establish a new bestfriendship.

 

Well yes and no. She noted the possibility of getting back together depending on how things are when she returns from Italy in December but until then she wants to remain just friends.

 

Should I email her back saying that im interested in the idea of getting back together with her depending on how we both feel or just go back to NC??

 

Thank you for all your help teddybear

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I just worry if you guys go 'just friends' then you might not be able to go back. I mean when does that ever work? I've never seen it. If I try to be just friends with a guy, then I'm framing him as just a brother-type. And I don't have sex with my brother.

 

I think you should say, "Well if you decide you want to work on getting back together, let me know, we can talk about that. Till then, I guess I'll just have to move on, and wish you luck."

 

Unless you really do want to be just best friends with her. But I really don't think trying to be just friends is the way to get back together.